Sunday, January 31, 2010

Poll Replies

I asked the question in my poll recently if "it would be wrong for me to date a man I don't like just to have something new to blog about?" it seems my Spudguns you all feel it would be wrong of me.

It doesn't seem to matter anyway as the dude never phoned when he said he would. So no harm done. But, I have given our favourite topic (Mr. Sabin and his hair) a full year. It's long since run it's course and I need to start blogging about other things now. As I said to Buddy #P "I've talked about him so much it's time to either turn this into a fan site or Mr. Sabin needs to marry me."
Buddy #P laughed for a good ten minutes.
It's funny. Very very funny. Okay, so I just scared the crap out of Mr. Sabin and he'll need therapy for months and I am sure half the X-Division guys are pissing themselves laughing right now as they are huddled around a laptop reading this. Cause they love me, they adore me, they are my number one fans.

So at this point I suppose I have to resort to double blogging everything I do. In other words, every time I do a book review on my book blog I will need to repost it here, and everytime I blog on the cooking blog I will need to repost it here. And the pagan blog and the vampire blog just to have more things to talk about. Cause, really, I'm running out of topics. Cause I have no life, and need a husband. Even I get sick of my rants. I'm trying my best to be more positive and not so bitchy. And even the Sex and the City posts can only take me so far, I have talked about I think all the SATC episodes. I can't move on if I am stuck in a rut. Not that I consider Mr. Sabin a rut. (insert obvious dirty joke here)

Saturday, January 30, 2010


Time to dig into the fang mail for another batch of emails from beyond the grave.
Welcome to an overdue issue of "Ask Ardeth" Where anything that can be thought of to ask will be answered by my horror film Heavy Metal Goddess alter ego Ardeth Blood.

Dear Ardeth:

I was wanting to know why when you do your wrestling reviews do you always do parts in colour and have the Motor city machineguns at the bottom even when they are not the main event?
P.S. I read your blogs ANDREW and NEWFIEKITEN regularly. When will you be updating NEWFIEKITEN?

Signed Pat in Bonnyville Ablerta

Dear Pat:

I will start first by addressing the fact the cooking blog is called My Newfie Kitchen not Newfiekiten. I will be updating the cooking blog in a few weeks when I have the time to put into kitchen experiments. Also when I am not so broke and can buy more then just ramen noodles.
Second, I like to highlight my little brainwaves that I think are important or that do not have anything direct to do with the match. If it's not a move by a wrestler but my reaction then why have it the same print?
And the MotorCityMachine Guns! I like having a pattern to my work. I first started out giving them the end paragraph months ago because they happened to have alot of air time that one week and I liked the idea. My regular readers know that if they skip to the bottom and see the opening line "And the MotorCityMachine Guns!" that they were on that week. And given the majority of my readers are MMG fans it's easy for them too.

That's all the time we have for this one, come back around and see what other gobs of wisdom Ardeth Blood will dish out and serve to her fiends.

You can email Ask Ardeth at

My Thoughts on TNA Impact for Jan 28 2010

Not too sure how good this week's is going to be, as I had to go hunting online for it. Haven't had to do that in a long while. BUT it's Saturday morning already and neither iTunes Canada nor Spike Tv official channel posted as of this time (9:43 am EST)

Looks like we opened with alot of Filler. Hey, they must have read this column last week as they called Bishoff on the lack of injury. And I still hate the idea of the ramp going all up to touch the ring. NEXT....

Mr. Anderson's promo was good. Short and to the point. And very right on the use of Mr./Miss/Mrs when you don't really know someone. Proper use of title it's not just for Jane Austen fans anymore.

First match of the night is a first round match of a tournament. Winner of the tournament becomes number one contender.
Wolfe vs the icky sex guy. Please tell me; we are not taking icky sex guy seriously. Morley got Wolfe in a hammer lock, but Wolfe turned it around and then kicked the ropes while Morley's shoulder was against it. Wolfe had him down in the corner for a boot to the throat but he got up and used a closeline to knock Wolfe down. Wolfe managed to use his flying hammerlock takedown to get the upper hand. Wolfe then slapped on his reclining arm stretch before Morley rolled out. Morley used a power slam before Wolfe got him up on the top rope for his tower of london for the win.

Daniels vs Hernandez. also a first round match of the tournament Daniels did not wait for the bell, and jumped Hernandez. He hit him with a series of kicks before running him face first into two turnbuckles. (not going to scream about the six sides being gone. you don't listen anyway)
Hernandez countered with a knee to the chest then got Daniels in a vertical suplex. Daniels went for a sunset flip but it was countered and turned into a clean over head suplex. Daniels then used a cheap shot thumb to the eyes before an insergurnee (this is why I never call it that and just call it a kick to the back of the skull. I need a wrestling dictionary ) Daniels got a near fall then used a jawbreaker and slam softening Hernandez up for a moonsault. Hernandez used a shoulderblock, closeline and then a large overhead back drop. He then went to the top turnbuckle for a splash but Daniels had rolled out of the way. Daniels tried a rollup but only got a near fall. Hernandez got the win with a heavy side slam.

Knock Out match. Beautiful People vs Kong/Hamada/Tara.... Madison Rayne got the win. No I am not going to break the rule I have, just not a whole lot of matches this week so thought I would just say....

The British Invasion came to the ring and cashed in their X-Division title match. But instead of it being Big Useless, Doug Williams had the match against Amazing Red. Williams used the chaos theory to win the X-Division title.

And thank you Mike Foley for the grossness of the dren cleaning story. That was filler we really did not need to hear.

Mr. Anderson vs Jeff Jarrett. Nice. I like the fact Jarrett came to the ring without pyro or music or anything. They started with a collar tie up, Jarrett getting Anderson in the corner. Jarrett had him then in a side head lock before using a shoulder block. Anderson turned it around with a few punches to the back. Jarrett used a high hiptoss takeover then a double dropkick to turn it back around again. He used a running closeline to toss Anderson out of the ring. Anderson got back into the ring and threw Jarrett into the post. Anderson then slapped a hammerlock on him, using a slam to drop him adding extra pressure to the hold. Anderson then continued to work on the arm and shoulder for the rest of the match. He then went to the top turnbuckle but missed as Jarrett rolled out of the way. Anderson used a small package for the win.

And the MotorCityMachine Guns! teamed with Brian Kendrick vs Generation Me/Amazing Red. Kendrick jumped Red before the bell. Red somehow managed to get it turned around and slammed kendrick into a corner then powerwalked over his back (sort of sideways) both Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin blindtagged themselves in. Red got a kick up to Shelley's jaw then rolled over him to get Sabin with a second kick sending Sabin into the ropes. Then both members of Generation Me tagged in double teaming Shelley with a double mule kick and an odd leapfrog kick before double teaming Sabin with a combo stomach breaker (?) and flying leg drop. Sabin managed to fight out of it and turn it around on Max (the greasy dark haired one) with a knee lift to the jaw in the corner before Shelley came in for an attempt at the stepladder jump but got a facefull of top turnbuckle (is Mr. Shelley okay?) Jeremy tagged in but was caught in an atomic drop by Shelley letting Sabin use his trademark low dropkick while Shelley held him in place in the middle of the ring. Sabin got a near fall. And a very late chant from the crowd of MotorCity
Red tagged in and used a hurricanrana on Sabin. Shelley got into the mix with a superkick which lead nicely to another stepladder dropkick by Sabin to Max, tossing Max off the ring apron. (still do not like the idea of that ramp being there) The Guns! went for a double team on Red but kendrick tagged himself in. He ran in with a stick kick then used a cradle for the win. Mr. Shelley then did his little scratchy thing which we haven't seen him do in a while.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Twitter me this

Again, floating around the internet today some more bored trying to get inspired. And what do I spy with my tired make-upless eye? But a bunch of little blue birds all over the net.
Flocks and flocks of "follow me on Twitter" birds.

Okay, I have a twitter. Have had it for a few years only dust it off about once a week if I remember on TNA review day.
Why does every blog need a damned twitter mate? Is your life that jam packed that you can't spend ten minutes a day updating your blog? Oh I'm sorry you have to waste that time x8 to twitter in 140 characters or less from your cell phone.

Right. Yes I am bitter about the twitter.

I hate hate hate going to other people's blogs which are always full of blinkies and badges and crap on designed templates that have their own signature and did I mention the blinkies only to find it's just a large ad filled back drop for a sidebar with the longest twitter updates on the frealing planet.

Still bitter about the twitter.

Blogging Tips that make me groan

So I was floating around the internet trying to figure out what it is I have been doing wrong these last few years with my blogging karma. I visit other blogs, leave comments, link them. Yet I don't get any comments or links back so what's up with that ?

One of the places I found said you need to have a widget that lists your best posts.
Um we already know the "I must rant about Chris Sabin's hair" is still my most popular. No need to flash it out anymore then it already is.

Another thing they said was that you need to comment randomly at lest four times a day.
Um isn't that called spam?

So yeah. The blogging karma has sort of gotten blocked or something. Maybe if I offer up my first born to the Internet gods or something .... (we don't have to tell the gods I have no interest in children that can be our little secret)

3 playlists and it's only 10am

8:54 am Woke up after a not so restful night of 3 hours sleep. I seem to have twinged my back and I have no idea what I did.

9:07 am coffee and morning round of pills. Yay, after not having my acid reflux meds for two days and having a difficult time of vomiting, I have my meds. Which means coffee coffee coffee.

9:16 am iPod shuffle is geared up with Headstones, Matt Dusk, Twiztid, Backstreet Boys, Hugh Dillon and Billy Idol. Realize it's too early for BSB and shuffle til I find some Twiztid.

9:27 am put iPod down and have loaded Dark Lotus into dvd player scaring the neighbours

9:40 am check emails. Have gone searching through old home videos of friends from hundred years ago, and found 30th birthday party footage where VLHE made a comment about having been out the night before and having a bad taste in her mouth. She said maybe it was the tequila, or maybe the whiskey, or may the beer. I said or maybe the boy in the tie dyed shoes. She laughed cause she could not deny it.

10:00 am blogging and in very good mood even though I am still stuck in apartment cause the city is an ice rink and I desperately need to get to the grocery as am out of everything and down to last 5 packages of ramen noodles and half a dozen eggs.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hit Snooze then hit panic

I can't wait for the new Uma Thurman movie to be released next month on dvd.

I have started to not just be drawn to mommy movies but I'm starting to like them. Identify with them almost. I need to have my head examined.

Oh wait *smacks forehead* I did that already last month and it came out clean, nothing going on in my head.

Must be the biological craziness starting to stir. I think I need to squash it fast. I know right, where is Freddy Kruger when you need him to rip your Ovaries out.

On vacation I am guessing.

One thing I never understood, if Kruger is a nightmare demon, psy-vamp then why did he never do the incubus side of it? In part 5 Dream Child, he possesses the soul of an unborn baby, but why did he never father one himself? Freddy Kruger fit the mold of incubus so figured the writers would have written him for an incubus.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Why do you tell me this?

"Oh well it's his loss"

Why is it all my male friends always say this to me when I tell them about my latest break up or that some guy never called back?
If I had an X-Division belt for all the times I have heard that....

Seriously now, is it just a knee jerk reaction from people to say this to family/friends? Or is there something I am just missing? Cause it's not just my gay male friends who say this to me, but my straight male friends too.

I was just having a chat with Buddy #P. about a guy who contacted me from the dating site who said he'd call. Well he never did. Not too broken hearted over it either so whatever. But this then got us into a long chat on why a man would not let a woman know he's got a crush on her.

Buddy #P said on the topic "Maybe the guy with the crush is shy, or scared, or doesn't want to be rejected."
Well I throw at him "what if you know the dude is not shy?"
Buddy #P says "Then he's a total nerd and just doesn't know how to deal with women at all." Then he says "all men lack confidence at some point."

I replied with "what if the dude already knows he won't be rejected by me?"
Buddy #P says again "well then it's his loss."

I'm more confused then when I started.
So basically what you are saying to me is it's a loose -loose situation?


I have never been anybody's. Never belonged to anyone.
Yes, I have had boyfriends and lovers. But none of them had ever referred to me as theirs. Never once called me their girlfriend. In any form.

When do men decide to cross that line in their minds and decide you have entered the girlfriend zone?
What magickal element do women who make the grade as girlfriend material have that the rest of us just don't?
When does a woman suddenly fit into your lives and belong to you?

These are the questions that I am plagued with as I watch the frantic pairing off of people heading into Feb 14th.

Clouds like Salmon

I have been reading the book the Shipping News off and on for a year now. Finally had a chance to sit down this morning and finish it. Why did it take so long you're thinking, cause other things kept getting in the way. Like people, other reviews, migraines, etc.

The story came into my life back in 2003 as the movie version. I fell totally in love with the idea of a story set in Newfoundland. Took forever to track down a copy of the book.
There is one line in it that goes "A few torn pieces of early morning cloud the shape and colour of salmon fillets".

When I read that line I was taken aback. That is writing. The easy descriptiveness of the line manages to express emotion while tying in the character of the story.
And of course, you can't help but get drawn in when you are talking about a place as beautiful as the coast of Newfoundland.

Monday, January 25, 2010

I hate money

Money destroys relationships.

I know this, I watched it happen for the first 26 years of my life.
I have had money, I have been broke, I have been every way between the two. All I can say is that at least without money I know who my friends are.

One of the many reasons I don't like gambling at all. We have a casino here in town that I have managed to stay away from for 15 years. Never gone near it.

I was reading an article online , that said when women were given a choice of two totally hot, smart, kind, men that looked almost the same with the only difference between them being that one was wealthy and one was not all the women picked the wealthy one.

Um what? Really?
I guess that would make me totally crazy then because if everything about them is the same other then their bank accounts I would pick the poor guy.
Yes I would.

Simply because I want a guy to know that I am with him for him, not for what he might be able to give me. I witnessed the other women in my family marry for money and the marriages were horrible and they all got divorced.
The one person in my family who did not marry for money had a fabulous marriage that lasted 45 years. That was my grandparents.

I'm also a hopeless romantic so the idea of actually having a guy spend time with me means more then gifts. And when you don't have money, you have to be creative about what you do together. That's important.

Deal breakers

Everyone has a dating dealbreaker or two or five. You all know by now for me kids is a big one.
I have one that should also be fairly obvious, a guy must be a wrestling fan.

I know that might sound funny to some of you, but if a guy is not a wrestling fan, he's going to have a difficult time dealing with my level of fandom.

Speaking of younger men, what the hell is it with guys under the age of 24? Now, I have never hid the fact I like younger men, but I have some standards. A guy has to be at least as old as Mr. Shelley. Sorry, but that is the score. That is another odd measure stick you are thinking, but it makes perfect sense. Hey, MotorCityMachine Guns! are like 26/27, so the men who come into my life have to be at least that old.
So then why am I getting hit on suddenly by 18 year olds? It's really crazy. I get really creepy old guys (I was stalked back in 2001 by a guy in his 80's who went around the karaoke bar with an oxygen tank ) and guys still in high school hitting on me. Are there no in-between ages ? Like say guys between 26 and 34 (after my birthday in March the numbers will go to 27 -35)
I know I know I lowered my standard age for Freud and look what a mess that turned into. So no more guy under the age of 26.

Thunder Bay wants TNA

I used a screen capture for this post

A few months back, when TNA was doing a pre show online before a ppv (Oct it might have been? ) I signed up for the internet pre show and have been getting these crappy weekly newsletters with stupid concert updates for the crappy bars in town. The only reason I haven't unsubscribed to them is that once a week it has attached to it "EVENTFUL WATCH" and lists a number of people in Thunder Bay that have signed up for the "bring TNA Live".
When I signed up the night of the pre show, I was the only one. Now, there is 6 of us.
That sounds like nothing. But in a city the size of Thunder Bay, that's totally amazing.
This has always been a city of wrestling fans, but whenever I mention TNA people normally look at me, shake their heads and say "never heard of it". The one sports store in the mall ;the employees there are sick of seeing me enter the place, one even runs and hides cause I have one question for them "You guys started to sell Total Non-Stop Action shirts yet? Cause I'm still wanting to get a MotorCityMachine Guns! shirt." The first time I asked the poor sales guy stared at me with his mouth open didn't even know what sport it was. I had to say wrestling. He pointed me to the UFC stuff. I have made it a habit, maybe a bad one, but a habit none the less of marching into that sports store every time I hit the mall and asking if they have any TNA stuff yet. Like I said, the one dude runs into the back to hide now when he sees me. What I'm a pest okay like you haven't figured that out already.
So this whole post is just to say, Thunder Bay wants a live TNA event.

*Raises right hand and swears on a stack of Anne Rice novels* I promise not to jump the guardrail to try to cut Mr. Sabin's hair. Promise .

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Dating 101- Tips from the Non-Dating Guru part 4

What is it about me and pushy men?
I just got not one but 2 messages from some guy here in town, the first one telling what part of the city he lives on, no introduction just "I live in P.A." and the second one within 30 seconds that said "can we meet up for coffee?"

First off, if a woman does not reply to your starter email, she isn't going to reply cause she's not interested. So why bother with a second email ?

And secondly, we are having a storm here today. Big thunder and lighting and freezing rain. No one is even driving down my street and it's a main street.

So what kind of vibes am I sending out into the world that I keep getting these uber pushy men messaging me? I must be sending out some evil vibes if all I seem to be getting are pushy guys?

I am trying to understand really I am. When I was hating myself, I was getting drunk abusive guys.
When I was desperate for a guy to notice me, I was getting liars and cheaters.
Now, I am trying to focus on other things in general (namely and any form of career) and I keep getting these male domanatrixes. And I am sure there is a proper word for these types of men, but right now I am just ....ggggrrrrrr.
This is why I don't date goth guys. I actually dated a guy back in high school ,back in the early 1990's who was into the BDSM thing. We so so so so did not work. I am not into the goth lifestyle at all and really don't like all that....dominating. Don't like it in the bedroom and really don't like it in real life. Sorry. Just the idea of being controlled makes me mad.

Friday, January 22, 2010

My Thoughts on TNA Impact for Jan 21st 2010

I used screen capture for this post

iTunes Canada was late tonight with the download again.

Let's start with the new opening shall we... Where the hell are the MMG? They used to have 2 spots in the opening credits now it's filled with Hogan. WTF? (I liked the old boy band in the rain look on Shelley and Sabin)

....speaking of children, then Flair came out with a couple of 12 year old stick insects in the latest slut wear.... wow you really are trying to recapture the old WCW days aren't you?

and the ring.... deep sigh... most of us hate the four sided replacement and no one wants to listen....moving on. Talk Talk Talk Talk blah blah blah.... what's with all the filler? A.J. Styles, love you to death, but you don't do comedy too well. The fans loved you just the way you were, we get you are having a Heel turn but what's with all the extra talk ? Was it just me or does the new Styles feel fake?

British Invasion vs Hernandez/evil druid Matt Morgan. This is a return match from the ppv this last weekend. Morgan/Hernandez had won the belts at the ppv. Doug Williams and Matt Morgan started it off. Morgan used a series of headbutts sending Williams into the corner. Williams turned it around getting Morgan to the mat (no pun intended) with a series of forearms to the skull. But that didn't last long, as Morgan got him back into the corner using his trademark rapid fire elbows. Morgan now outside of the ring, was distracted by Brutus Magnus while Williams hit him with a baseball slide. Back in the ring Brutus tagged in, getting a near fall on Morgan before slapping a modified sleeper on Morgan. Both Hernandez and Williams tagged in. Hernandez used a flip/DDT combo but only got a near fall. Big Useless Rob Terry came down to the ring with his Feast or Fired case which was used on his own team by mistake letting Hernandez get the win.

Okay you know what, I can see in a twisted way why you would change the shape of the ring, but I don't see why you would have the ramp touching the ring. Seriously, won't that cause issues with the X-Division guys and some of their moves?

Orlando Jordan vs The Pope. I'm still waiting on that wicked trenchcoat there Pope, I've got a purse that would so totally work with that trenchcoat just waiting for someone in the X-Division to snag it and send it to me. They started with a collar tie up, but Jordan tossed Pope across the ring with a deep armdrag. Pope went for a submission hold but Jordan swept his leg out from under him landing him in the middle of the mat. And either they got stronger microphones or else that was one hell of a slap Jordan gave Pope, cause you could hear it very clearly. Pope then got him on the second rope for a smooth-slide and landed not just on his feet but into a sitting position on the railing. Jordan pulled Pope back into the ring with a dragon-screw-leg whip. Jordan then DDTed Pope for the win. Damn it!

Too much filler. iTunes Canada is just the show no commercials, this is the 45 minute mark (that would have hour and 10 minutes on tv with commercials) and we have only had two matches. What the hell? Normally by this point we have 4 matches.

The return of Angelina Love. She went against Madison Rayne. I still refuse to write about the Knock Outs but I have to say this, I always love to see a Canadian beat the crap out of an American.

The Nasty Boys vs Young/Nash. Righty-ho Righty-ho. Seriously, I used to love the Nasty Boys.... 20 years ago when I was 15. Dude, please. That's all I am saying about this match. I love love love Eric Young but.... I am going to make Eric Young the photo of the week cause he looks yummy.

The promo by Mr. Anderson was just what we all expected. Okay, this is one new player I am a fan of. And he does his gimmick very well.

Main Event was A.J. Styles vs Kurt Angle. Styles jumped the bell with a series of closed fists to Angle. Angle turned it around to his favour with a stiff closeline that flipped Styles. He then used a backbraker for the near fall. He then used a snap suplex for another near fall. Styles got the leg up for a low blow breaking the series of suplexes. Styles used a thumb to the eye at one point to keep Angle off kilter. He then slapped on a figure four leg lock in the middle of the ring. Angle broke the hold with the bottom rope and managed to get Styles in an overhead suplex. Styles used the paylay but showboated not even trying for the pin, which allowed Angle to slap the ankle lock on. Styles countered and slapped the move on Angle just when the ref rang the belt. I have no frealing idea what just happened here

Kurt Angle screamed he quit TNA and was going to head back to the other company then spit in Hogan's face. With the crowd chanting "thank you Angle". Kurt then continued to tell Hogan to freal himself. (okay so he used the real f**k word but I like my word better for blogging reasons) Kurt went on to say "you just lost the frealing franchise" Seriously, I'm not even sure if this was a real break down on Angle's part or a score being played. It might have been a score but the fact Angle actually said the F word as often as he did makes me wonder, as he normally says "freaking" when he's doing a promo. BUT the fact he said the name of the other company and it was not bleeped out makes me wonder.

Then Bishoff stumbled out with a small slice on his hairline. Which we all know is the easiest spot to slice ourselves when needing to have an in ring wound cause skull wounds bleed the worst. All I have to say about the Bishoff part was Hey remember back in 1998-99 in WCW when you did the New Blood vs Old Guys routine? I remember that. You dusted off those old scripts. History really does repeat itself, and this is tasting like a bad bowl of day old maggoty fish.

This show was a total load of dren. There was only 5 matches in a 2hour show. That's crap. The matches were short and there was barely anything above brawling. Way too much filler. I know I don't write about the Knock Outs, but normally there is at lest 2 Knock Out matches per episode and they normally last 10 minutes each. There was one match at it barely clocked in at 5 minutes. There wasn't any X-Division matches either. The tag team matches were less then impressive this week as well. I don't know if this was done this way cause it was the day after a ppv when it was taped and the guys were all bruised and tired or what, but it was low on fuel tonight.

The Book Dork is In...part 3

Last time on the Book Dork, our heroine was informed that her book club was reading Emma. Now today on the Book Dork...

Chapters Fan Member: Aren't you excited? I'm excited.

Book Dork: About a book that isn't even being released until 2012? No not really.

Chapters Fan Member: What? How can you not be excited about the release of this Young Adult Super Romance Novel that is not going to be released until 2012 that the author hasn't even written yet but has been signed to write?

Book Dork: Um 1) The book hasn't even been written yet and 2) I don't read the author's stuff. I just don't understand what makes it any different from the other generic Young Adult Super Romance Novels that are out there?

Chapters Fan Member: Well duh! Cause SHE writes Paranormal Erotic Youth Books. This series is spin off with witches from the series she did with werewolves which was a spin off from a series she did originally for vampires.

Book Dork: The author writes smut for teenagers that happens to have a Wiccan theme? Right like I said how is it any different and smut for teenagers shouldn't that be you know, wrong? I always thought Erotica was soft - to-hardcore porn with pretty covers?

Chapters Fan Member: OMG! How can you say that? How can you say Crimson Love Junkie by SHE is the same to Amber Lust Addict by HER? That's just ridiculous now isn't it? Clearly they are totally different from each other, I know right? SHE 's books are clearly stand out from the other authors in the genre cause you know her lead character is this totally tortured soul who's greatest love, soulmate even, is a vampire and they can't be together because his family would never understand cause she's a hunter and is human. Where as HER's books are totally different because it's lead character is a half human half demon who's working as a demon tracker and can't be with his greatest love, soulmate even, because she's an angel, and therefore he's this totally tortured soul and his friends who are also half demons just can't accept it.

Book Dork: Um okay.

Chapters Fan Member: AND! The whole Crimson Love Junkie series has these covers that are you know, really hot looking goth guys on the covers that are totally covered in tattoos with long straight hair where as Amber Lust Addicts series covers have emo guys on the covers that are totally covered in tattoos with hair that comes to their shoulders.

Book Dork: Um, they used the same models. And I just googled HER. It's actually HIM and they write sports reports for a large newspaper in the Montreal.

Chapters Fan Member: What are you trying to say? That a man wrote these Young Adult Super Romance Novels just for teenaged girls who have dreams of unrealistic Romeo and Juliet style heroes? Don't be silly, men can't write Young Adult Super Romance Novels. It's impossible. You're just trying to bring down my buzz about the new book being released in 2012 that the author hasn't even written yet and I won't let you.

Book Dork: Okay, I'm going to go over here now.

Tune in next time for another episode of Book Dork Adventures in Geekiness.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

You ever miss just being kissed?

*deep sigh*

I have not been able to get out of my mind all week, kissing. Yeah, just good old fashioned standing in the hall by the door saying good bye for the day make out sessions.

Making me feel like the one episode of SATC where Carrie says that she's at the point of walking up to total strangers and asking them to kiss her and just lay on top of her to feel the weight of a man again. (season 5 episode ? too lazy to check the dvd)

And top it all off, I read an article online this morning about the benefits of the good morning kiss.

Great, thanks, make me that much more out of my mind.

Strange thing to miss I know, but if you haven't figured out by now that I'm a hopeless romantic and totally single then you have been I am guessing only reading my TNA (Total Non-Stop Action) stuff?

And of course, what makes a good kiss. I've had guys who don't close their eyes when they kiss, and it's a bit on the creepy side, or guys who don't tilt their head when they kiss you, that always leaves me wanting to ask if they need a neck brace or something. Very uncomfortable. When a guy doesn't use his hands. That's so giving the vibe of him not being into you as much as you are into him.
Or the worst yet, a guy who is all mouth. You walk away from that one thinking "he just raped my face. Was he trying to lick the remaining make up off or something?" Makes you wonder if he learned to kiss from his dog?

A good kiss is paced just right, with just enough hand movement to make you want to lean in closer, and a guy who allows himself to just melt into the moment. A soft half giggle/moan from the guy always a plus, let's us know you are enjoying it. And the end result should always be the look of half dreaminess on the guy's face when you do end the kiss. A look that clearly says "why did you stop? I can still breath"

So yeah, I miss that. Kissing.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

If I slit my wrists would you clean it up?

Ah spring is just around the corner, with the promise of warm breezes, cool rains and wild flowers.
Only, we still have to get past the end of winter. Which means we have to get through Valentines' Day.
Ah yes, February 14th. The day all single women dread more then anything. There is nothing worse then seeing that date looming on the calenders like a neon sign. Oh wait yes there is. Seeing all the commercials for Valentine's Day gifts and cards. Seeing the red and white and pink decorations in the stores. Seeing all the restaurants with signs saying book now for your romantic dinner. Seeing all the hotels with signs saying book now for a special rate. And of course, seeing all the so called happy couples on the date.

I think I'll start early and just pluck out my eyes, then throw myself against a brick wall for a coma induced injury before letting a sea of red ribbons stream from my pale white wrists.

How's that for a visual.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

True Happiness or a Connection

I posted this back in Sept 29th 2009 on my pagan blog, I can't believe I forgot to post it here

In 2004 I was in this relationship. I was with two of my closest friends at the time (they were a couple) and we were out for the evening at a wrestling event.
I knew I was going to see my then boyfriend after the event and was feeling alittle lonely watching the couple interact while we stood in line outside the building, waiting for the doors to open. The guy I was seeing at that time worked in a bar and we were set to go there after the wrestling.

The show was set to start at 7pm, with doors opening at 630.

A few minutes after we got inside and sat down, I had this feeling of dizziness. I put it off as being the energy from the crowd and thought nothing else of it. There was a single camera across the ring from our seats. It had my attention for a few minutes as I wondered who was taping the show.
My friends were not wrestling fans, and were only there with me because I did not want to go alone.

I started to feel like someone was watching me, which I put off to the fact we were front row and there was a video camera less then twenty feet across from us. The dizzy feeling heightened to a feeling of extreme hyperness then became a fog. I could not shake the idea I was being watched.

Midway through the evening the tag teams came out. Everything became a mass of confusion. I remember only one thing, there was one wrestler who I felt was staring at me.
My eyes were locked on him. The hyperness and fog became a feeling of total bliss.
The match ended and everything came back to normal for me. I have no idea who he was. The speakers in the building were too loud and the announcer's voice had been muffled.
We went on to the bar that night after the show and I was jarred stupid. I had forgotten all about the man I was dating. It was as if he did not exist for the two hours we were at the show.
I had not yet bought a digital camera and was still using one with rolled film. None of the photos we took at the wrestling event turned out. That was 9 photos on a roll of 24 that mysteriously were damaged when the roll was developed.
I do not remember what the wrestler looked like. Only the feeling that he was staring at me.
This was the night of May 9 2004 in Thunder Bay.

Looking back on that night I have to wonder if that was a sign from the universe telling me that the man I was with was not the man I had believed him to be? I had believed he was my soulmate, and that the relationship would turn into marriage. How stupid I was, as he was cheating on me the entire year we were together.

I have since wondered if the feeling I had that night was pointing me to the right guy, and I just not smart enough to realize it, or if it was something else?

I may never know.
One thing is for sure, whatever the universe's plan for me is; they woke me up from my self imposed dream that night by showing me the relationship I was in at that time was a bad one. That that boyfriend was not the one I am meant to be with.

Yes the bad relationship was with Trainwreck for those of you keeping score.

Are we trying to live a fairy tale?

Everyone grows up with the images of heroes dancing through their heads. Wither you are wanting to be rescued by the knight in shinning armor or you are wanting to be the knight in shinning armor, we all need heroes.

How many of us actually find what we're looking for?
I have heard it said more then once that no matter how intelligent or independent a woman is, she still just wants to be rescued.
I have to admit, there are times when that is very true. There are also just as many times when I want to be the white knight for some guy. There is nothing that lends to a natural high as much as being able to swoop down and be the shinning star that a man can't live without. Even if it is only for a few hours. Mind you my white knight status has been limited to standing in line for four hours for concert tickets while my buddy had to work or picking up a rent contract while my buddy was out of town. Still, the idea that I could be the one to save the day always makes me feel great.

I think it is the idea of being needed.

But yet, in the end I have never been rescued. (ambulance and emergency personal do not count) Not even so much as a guy offering to carry my books for me...ever.
Yes I need to be needed, but I need someone that needs me, to need them too.

Men of Jane Austen .... with a six sided twist

While back, I posted about one of the challenges for the All Jane Austen Challenge was an essay on the men in her books.
I did parts one and two with out any issues. Part three finally did me in. I was way over my head and ended up doing the end part in my own style.

Oh god Ardeth that means one of two things.

Yes Spudgun it does. And since the world of Jane Austen has already been combined a bunch of times in the last 2 years with vampires, I decided to combine it with my other favourite topic.
If you want to read the original post with comments it is here

But if you are not in the mood for all that heavy lifting I can put it in this post. Well half the post anyway, and without the comments.

And why I am about to do something completely odd. I am going to "cast my Austen men". If I was doing a production of a Jane Austen, I would choose these real life men to play her characters This would be my dream cast. Some of these names you will recognize and some will have you scratching your head as to whom they are. ( The names with ** after then are wrestlers. )

Mr. Knightley = Jay Lethal**
Mr. Elton = Randy Orton**
Frank Churchill = Austin Aries**
Colonel Brandon = I have to go with the actor who's played him and stuck in everyone mind Alan Rickman. I know there have been other actors who's played him, but for me there is no other Colonel Brandon.
Mr. Willoughby = Andrew McCarthy.
Mr. Edward Ferrars = Jack Huston
Mr. Robert Ferrars = Jimmy Jacobs**
Edmund Bertram = Jude Law
Tom Bertram = Benicio Del Toro
Mr. Crawford = Alessandro Nivola . Again, I know he played this character already, but for me there is no other Mr. Crawford. No one can live up to his version of it.
Mr. Rushworth = Ryan Reynolds.
William Elliot = Desmond Wolfe**
Captain Frederick Wentworth = Sheamus**
John Thorpe = Steven Mackintosh
Henry Tilney = James Marsters
Mr. Bingley = Chris Sabin**
Mr. Collins = Eric Young**
Mr. Wickham = Kevin Zegers. And yes I know that is a cheat as he already did the movie Jane Austen Book Club playing the character of Trey
Mr. Darcy = Alex Shelley **

Think about it my Spudgun.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Opps I Did him again

There is this guy Joshua.
He has a weird effect on me. I have a blast when I talk to him. He's cute, funny, sexy even. And I end up doing things with him I would never do with any other guy.

We're friends. We have the same twisted sense of humour. And he keeps popping up on the dating sites I join.
I am completely free when I am with him.

Oh did I mention I have never met him outside of the computer? Yeah, he's my cyber f**k buddy.
Sad, pathetic and oh so yummy. This has been going on for a very long time. He's also my back up when things get totally crazy in real life, or some sleazy old guy/thirteen year old starts to cyberstalk me on Myspace or something. I just point to his profile and claim him as mine. I've had to do that more then once in real life too cause of one creepy Lesbian who works at the Blockbuster down the street.

Tonight, while we were doing what we do best, ripping apart the rest of the world, I brought up my last posting topic Which then got into the question of what we have being an emotional affair?

He wasn't sure. I'm not sure. As I said, this has been going on for a while, and we're both fairly attached to each other on one level. So why not turn it into something real?
Well, he lives in the U.S. and I live in Canada. (yes I have a thing for American men okay deal) the other AND/BUT in the situation is that we're not compatible.

I know I know then how can I be so damned free with him? You got me?
I'm looking for a long term relationship, and he's well, not. There is a bit of an age difference here too, he's 8 years younger. Okay so I'm a cyber-cougar-slut. Deal.
I see myself heading for a massive broken heart, but not really.
Confused yes very much.

It's great cause he takes the edge off of being alone, but it's bad because I'm always shocked at myself afterward. I've never considered myself anything but a Prude. So what is it about the very thought of this guy, the very sound of his voice that makes me... act like ... this?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Faking it, not just for women anymore

Season two episode 28 of Sex and the City Was it Good For You? the question of the week is "how do you know you're good in bed?"
The character of Charlotte has a guy fall asleep on her while they are having sex, and Carrie becomes the replacement vice for a guy with addictions.
In episode 16 They Shoot Single People Don't They? (also season two) the question of the week is "is it better to fake it then be alone?" Where Miranda has to fake it more then once with the same guy.

I was reading an online article about men having to fake it in bed. I have to be honest, I did not think it was physically possible for a man to fake it.
I know guys fake the rest of the relationship all the time, but in bed?

And before you get all into "well women fake it all the time" it's true that alot of women have faked it, many of us do not.
I have never. No it's not always that good, I just am rude and will tell the guy it's not working. I see no reason to fake it.
If you fake it once, and the relationship extends from a one night stand to a proper relationship or even just f**k buddies, then you are more then likely having to fake it every time.

That is false advertising.

So I put the question out there to a few of my straight male friends. Two were cool enough to reply.

Guy #1 - Never faked it. Never had to.

Guy #2 - Faked it with one girl, but she was a psycho. The relationship fell apart.

Hmmm. Makes me wonder about the way men and women really relate to each other? The more men are willing to communicate, the more it seems everything we have come to learn about them is just not true.

I have said before that if I live to be 200 I will not figure men out. Starting to think that is the ultimate truth. The more I learn about relationships, the less I understand.
Like Guy#2 telling me that men do get the goofy grins for hours afterward thinking about us the same way us women spend half our day after sex.
Interesting bit of info.

So I have to ask, faking it a plus or a minus?

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Is there a reason the MotorCityMachine Guns! never main event Impact?

I used a screen capture for this post

Seriously, I was going through old episodes of Impact and I think they got to main event Impact once. The handicap match against Foley back in the spring (April 4th 2009 episode)

I mean man, they open the show alot which is great, get the energy going right off the top. But, why have they been overlooked for main event status?

And why have they not had the TNA tag team belts? (I made reference to that fact on my other blog here ) As a rabid fan I am foaming at the mouth to understand why?

Friday, January 15, 2010

You brought me a pet Werewolf....

I used a screen capture for this post.

He's cute can I keep him?

Yes, if you read this weeks edition of "My Thoughts on TNA Impact" (Jan 14th 2010 episode) then you saw that capture and the screen shot of Chris Sabin. And if you are a regular reader of my blog then you know I have been nagging him (lovingly, sweetly, with just enough molasses for it to be too thick to pour) for almost a year now about his hair.

I have tried twice to stop, but SIR I HAVE AN ADDICTION (there is a really obvious dirty joke there but even I am too bored to go for it)

I have said time and time again, that Mr. Sabin is pretty much perfect. Fabulous in the ring, great to look at, wicked sense of humour, and hair that makes my teeth ache cause it's just .... grubby.

But look at this screen shot, even I have to admit he looks hot with that shaggy mess and lost in the woods beard thingie he's got happening. Damn it.
Normally I compare him to a monkey cause of his ability in the ring to climb and jump around without any issues (Did you all see him in that Ultimate X match back on Oct 22 2009?) but the werewolf image is more then clear. There's just something primal about him here. You can't tell me there isn't.
You so can not tell me that you don't think The Howling, or Company of Wolves or well the most obvious Wolf (James Spader's werewolf in that one not Jack Nicholson's ) and ya know that really old and really bad exploitation film from the 1970's Werewolves on Wheels when you look at this shot.

I don't know what he's trying to say with that look in his eyes ( come hither, I want to slice you with a chainsaw and use your intestines for hair gel ) but that is one big bad wolf I wouldn't mind running into in the dark of night.

My Thoughts on TNA Impact for Jan 14th 2010

I used screen capture for this post.

iTunes Canada was late again to day with the show.

Hey, you know how I had the rule not to talk about MainEventMafia.... well, I am only going to talk about the guys I like.

Kurt Angle called out A.J. Styles saying Styles was really that good. Um yeah we've known that for nearly a decade. And the mystery guy.... okay you fooled me, my money had been on Wolfe and it was Tomko. Nice.
A.J. Styles vs Tomko in a title match. Styles didn't wait for the bell he went right after Tomko with a series of punches. They took it out of the ring and Style slammed Tomko's arm into the steps going right for the repaired shoulder. Getting back into the ring, Styles had him down in the corner with a boot to the throat. (so unlike Styles) He then used a double drop kick to the face. Styles got shoved out of the ring and the camera went to the announce booth for half the match...Tomko got a near fall. Tomko used a boot to the face to turn Styles inside out for another near fall. Tomko then managed to get Styles on the bottom rope stepping on his neck. Styles used the paylay for the win. There was no energy in this match. Normally, Styles is just all over the ring but this match was more then just slow paced it was disappointing. I was expecting more out of these two but it was just terrible.

As far as the Knock Outs go... breaking my rule slightly, the women's tag champs Hamada and Kong were up against the Beautiful People, and it was cool to hear the crowd chanting for Kong and Hamada.

What with all the filler? I don't like filler. I like matches.

Lethal and Creed vs .... the match didn't get to happen because Lashley came out and hit them from behind. Maybe he was sick of seeing Lethal in the moomoo too? Lethal honey get rid of the damned moomoo. Well they were suppose to go up against Team 3D, but when Team 3D came down to the ring... the bell rang they got Creed in a 3D and Devon covered him for the win. That's dren total dren. Creed and Lethal are two of the best in the X-Division and one of the best tag teams around, why the hell are they being used as fodder?

I thought Daniels was the Face in this new feud he's now in with the icky sex dude? Was I wrong?

Hernandez and the evil druid Matt Morgan vs Beer Money Inc. Hernandez and Storm started off. Storm got tossed into the corner, and over the ropes but he managed to hang on and kick Hernandez in the back of the skull. Storm then got a near fall. Roode tagged in and they doubled teamed Hernandez with a suplex. Evil Druid Morgan tagged himself in giving both members of Beer Money Inc a short closeline. He got Roode in the corner for his rapid fire elbows then used a sidewalk slam on him. Storm tagged back in, they went for a double team on him but Hernandez tagged in getting both of them with a double flying closeline. Storm got tossed out of the ring and Roode got tossed down to the mat giving Hernandez a chance to use a suicide dive. Then Big Useless Rob Terry from the British Invasion came out to the ring causing a double DQ.

Wolfe vs Samoa Joe. The Pope was on the mic for this one. Hey Pope, did anyone snag me that wicked trenchcoat of yours yet? Joe pushed him right into the corner and started with a series of punches then threw him across to the other side and kicked him upside the skull. It looked like Wolfe was getting some headway but Joe caught him in mid-move, flipping him into a slam. Joe when for his trademark rear naked choke, but Wolfe managed to push him backwards to slam into the post. He rolled into Joe and used an arm drag before a kick to the face. Wolfe then went to his usual assault trying to take out the arm. Wolfe then got Joe on the top rope setting up for his Tower of London. Winning the match. How'd he do that? When was the last time we saw Samoa Joe loose?

And the MotorCityMachine Guns! vs Generation Me. Oh god, two more guys with long greasy hair. Oh you brought me a pet werewolf, he's cute can I keep him? Chris Sabin and the guy with the greasy dark hair started it. Sabin used an arm bar on the guy -Max? before he turned it around in his favour and used an arm bar on Sabin. Sabin got out of it with his trademark flip and a deep arm drag then a drop toe hold slamming Max to the mat. Alex Shelley tagged in continuing to work on the guy's arm. Sabin blind tagged himself back into the ring and they double teamed him with a wishbone. The blonde guy with the greasy hair-Jeremy jumped into the ring only to get a stereo round kick by both Guns! Sabin then got Max to the mat with a fist to the forehead. Another quick tag in by Shelley where upon he had Max in a sleeper in the center of the ring. Max broke out of it giving Shelley two elbows to the gut before Shelley landed a chop to him. Sabin tagged back in, and they had Max in the corner, but Max flipped Shelley out side of the ring hard. He then used a flying bulldog/hangman combo on Sabin. Jeremy tagged in, giving a flying dropkick over the top rope to Shelley knocking him once again off the ring apron. He then put an inverted atomic drop on Sabin before using a backward suicide dive on Shelley sending Shelley into the guard rail. He managed to get a near fall on Sabin, but Sabin kicked out. Max tagged back in, but Sabin got the boot up knocking the momentum out of him. With Shelley still out on the floor, Generation Me double teamed Sabin in the center of the ring. Chris Sabin managed to use a quick arm bar into a roll to tag in Alex Shelley. Shelley used a flying thrust kick to get things back into the Guns! favour. Which did not last long, as both members of Generation Me doubled teamed Shelley with a double standing moonsault. Shelley then used a dead stop on the second turnbuckle on the dark greasy haired one -Max- before Sabin got him with a mule kick. Looked like the Guns! had him with a double team but the blonde greasy haired one -Jeremy broke the pin. Sabin when for a dive, but missed landing hard on the outside god his arm while Shelley went for his trademark sliced bread but was stopped with a double 450 splash from both members of Generation Me and got the pin. I am really hating this new team.
My tag team are injured I am not happy.

And what about the MRI?

Deep sigh of relief, it's not a growth or anything like that. It's not even a stress fracture in my skull or anything. Dr. S. is baffled. No idea what the situation is. But there is nothing going on in my brain. Well duh I mean really with all the one-tracked MotorCityMachine Guns! mind there isn't room for anything else. I had to lighten the mood with a joke, cause the health scare is over time to party. But he's still sending me to the Neurologist.

Why you my Spudgun are asking, well because there seems to be too much fluid between my zombieness and skull. He's afraid it might be something connected to the car accident I had 3 and a half years ago only showing up now.

Which would suck.

And he still has no idea why I am getting these skull crushing headaches.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Oh God! Is He okay?

I used a screen capture for this post.

If you have been reading this blog much over the last few years, you know I don't like spoilers. I don't read other fan sites, I stay away from the official Myspaces and Facebooks and avoid Wikipedia at all costs.
I do however read Injury reports on TNA

With that said, they have just reported that Alex Shelley suffered a neck and back injury. Damage to the disks in his neck. (according to TNA it is bulging disks and herniated neck.)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Dating 101 -Tips from the Non Dating Guru- Jan 13th

I thought I gave up dating? Didn't I ? Thought I did?
A message came in from the dating site that was just bad. I am thinking this guy must have sent it as a text from his cell phone cause it was just bad.
"U n I match Wht U lookin 4 an Wht U like"

I looked at his profile only to find he had one line in his bio. All it said was he works out of town and likes to hang out at the bar on weekends. And under his status, that he has a kid.

Okay, so he's asked what am I looking for. I replied Not a family, sorry do not date dads.
He writes me back saying "she doesn't live with me"

Nope, sorry, not going there and I have turned down alot of dads on this site. It's all there seems to be. Everyone has a deal breaker, kids are mine. I broke my own rule on this in the past for Dargo, and look where it got me.

My question is how could we be a match if there is nothing in this guy's profile to suggest his interests ? And clearly someone screwed up, cause my profile lists "do not want kids".
The guys in this city seem to think that translates into "why yes even though I do not want to have any I would be more then happy to wait hand and foot on your spawns of darkness"

I know I come across on this blog as immature as a 12 year old at a boy band concert but shouldn't communication get clearer as you get older?

I said to my friend Paula the other day, I'm done. I have had enough bad dates. No more dating for the sake of dating. I believe alot of things, as you well know from this blog, and soulmates happens to be one thing I believe in strongly.
I have said a bunch of times both in real life and on this blog that I know my soulmate is out there and when the Fates decide the time is right, he'll come into my life.

Laugh if you must. It's what I believe.
Okay that's enough laughing. You'll pop something.

Bad News Maybe

I got a letter in the mail today from the Hospital saying I have an appointment on Feb 16th about my stroke.

WHAT? You're kidding right? I think I would remember if I had a stroke.

So I called them wanting to know what the letter was about cause you know this has to be a mistake. I'm thinking, I know Richard had a mini-stroke and was in the hospital not too long ago, maybe they got my files mixed up with his or something.
The lady who answered said that Dr. S. referred me to the Neurologist because of my MRI, and asks if he explained to me why.
Um no I haven't been back in to see the doctor so no. I ask if it has anything to do with my dad having had a stroke and she said not that she's aware of and told me this appointment was not for a stroke but for my MRI.

Confused now. Then why did I get a letter telling me to come in about a stroke? What's going on here? What's the score?

Again I point out that Richard (dad) was in for an MRI the same week I was, and that it must have been meant for him. Again the lady at the hospital tells me no. It was indeed meant for me the appointment. Again I tell her I did not have a stroke.
This goes on for a bit over and over again, until finally she puts me on hold and checks the files again.

Then finally she's like "oh I see where the issue is. Dr. S. booked you for a chat with the Neurologist about your MRI." I'm thinking, you just finished telling me that still confused as to why. Then she continues "You are most likely looking at the letterhead that's why" Um yeah big bold letters saying Stroke Clinic Regional Stroke Network right at the top of the letter. "We're located on the same floor but this is not the Stroke Clinic this is MRI One. Someone grabbed the wrong letterhead when they mailed you your appointment. Happens all the time. No need to panic."

Good god woman like this whole situation hasn't freaked me out enough the last 4 months, you have to give me something new to panic over. Jesus freal.

This is not fair

While back, I posted about a very hot guy I bumped into Mr. Dark Hair
and how he looks like Mr. Shelley. Okay, so I had to get out to the bank today, and it was like free range cuties. I go past the church that Mr. Dark Hair had gone into last time I bumped into him and poof there he was again. I had no reason to chat with him though so I only lingered at the crosswalk for a second. Not like he remembered me. I know I am invisible.
Anyway, standing in line at the bank and this hot 20something is standing at the teller beside me, he kept looking over. So unless he was looking at the old dude behind me, which is possible... I had his attention.
And why is it, no matter how often you dress nice with your make up done and your hair and your clothes fresh from the laundry, you only get noticed when you look like something scrapped off the bottom of a shoe?
Leaving the bank heading to mom's and I see this total hottie having to share the sidewalk. Five second count turn to look and I got caught staring. Damn! Hate it when that happens.
Hit the parking lot for mom's building and literally smack into the delivery guy coming out of the place. That was bad. He took an extra few seconds to get into his car then needed , but still not even one "hey how you doing?" And through all this there is me just trying to keep my balance on the winter streets.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

About your MRI

I just got off the phone with the doctor's office.
And they want me to come in on Friday for the results. Don't understand why they could not give me the results over the phone if there is nothing wrong?
Way to freak me out.

Patty: Hi Kimberly. I booked your mom for Friday and I also have your test results here.

Me: Okay finally and?

Patty: Dr. S. said it's NOT urgent but he wants you to come in on Friday with your mom. But it's NOT urgent.

Me: He wants me to come back in?

Patty: Yes. But it's NOT urgent. So I'll book you with your mom for Friday first thing. It's the first opening we have. But it's NOT urgent. Bye sweetie see you then.

The 4 of Pentacles

The 4 of pentacles, or coins. Is the card of security, of the home, of delay, a physical obstacle, of hording.
When this card comes up in a reading, it's telling you that you need to let go of something, to give back to the universe.

What happens when you have nothing to give?
When you are drained physically, mentally, emotionally. When you are not part of something bigger then yourself. How do you handle it? What are you suppose to give when you have nothing to offer? When you are not a wife, not a mom, not needed, not wanted, not thought of. What do you do then? How can you give back when there is nothing for you to offer?

Monday, January 11, 2010

Dating 101 -Tips from the Non Dating Guru Jan 11th 2010

Continue to humour me.

Well it would seem that Howie D. is the Backstreet Boy of choice for guys on dating sites.
That is, the celebrity photo they all seem to want to use instead of showing their own photos. Hmm.
I find that insulting really. All these guys talk about how they want an honest woman with no head games and then they pull dren like that.
That tells me you are afraid to be on a dating site. If you are afraid to be seen by someone that might know you then you most likely should not be on a dating site. And 80% of the "Howies" are looking for "other relationship". I can not tell you how many guys have messaged me in the course of the last 8 months that I have been on this one dating site, who have made comments about wanting a discreet encounter.
First off, I'm listed as looking for long term with marriage in mind, and second there is nothing discreet about me.
I've confessed my desire for Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin publicly on here more then a few hundred times, so you know not the most silent when it comes to stuff.
This is not the first time either on this site that some bucket of dren has used a celebrity photo. I have seen photos of the actor Robert Buckley from the tv show Lipstick Jungle used, singer Clint Black, and remember I told you last summer someone actually used a cropped photo of Chris Sabin. Really guys. That one still makes me giggle.

Live Event MCWA

I just got a note from the fabulous people at Michigan Championship Wrestling Association, that there will be a live event on Feb 13th 2010
If you want to find out more, just go to their official Myspace

New Candace Bushnell

So I am flipping through Chapters Online to see what I might want to buy this month, when I see something that makes me just a little hyper.
A title called "Carrie Diaries" on the Pre-Order list. Is it true? Could it be ? A new novel from Candace Bushnell?
Not just any but a Sex and the City book. Only thing is, there is no summery for it. I have no idea what this book is about. No clue where in the mythology of the Sex and the City world this book takes place. And of course, it's listed for April before it's to be released.
Totally genius given the second SATC movie is slotted for May.
So I googled Candace Bushnell books, and come across a newspaper article from 2008 that stated Bushnell was penning a series of young adult books that star her character Carrie Bradshaw.
Is this the mythical book?
As we get closer to the spring, you know I am going to be hounding my local book store.

The Book Dork is In... part 2

Last time on the book dork, our heroine was trying to replace a copy of Bridget Jones 2 because she could not find hers. She still can not.
Now Today on the Book Dork...

Book Club: This month, EMMA!

Book Dork: Wow. Deja Vu. I was just looking through my Jane Austen wondering what to read next, thinking about the scene in the movie version of Jane Austen Book Club were they are talking about how in Emma, Mr. Knightley only scolds Emma and how the character Grigg points out it's because Knightley is totally in love with her and just wants her not to be so immature. Was thinking about that scene cause of something Paula said to me.

Book Club: Well, okay. Great. We're doing Emma cause the remake of the movie is being showcased this month on Master Piece Theater.

Book Dork: Well that sucks. I don't have cable. Won't get to see it.

Book Club: But you have a copy of the book right?

Book Dork: Two actually. All the books in single copies, and a collector's edition with all the books together in one large heavy volume.

Book Club: Well okay. Great. We're doing Emma.

Book Dork: Yeah. Caught that part.

Tune in next time for another episode of Book Dork Adventures in Geekiness

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Dating 101 -Tips from the Non Dating Guru

Humour me.

The universe is teasing me. For those of you who read my relationship posts, you will remember my series I did over the summer when I was actually dating again. "Are there any single straight men left on the planet?". When I was talking about the Austin Aries Look A Like (nope never did find a better tagline for him.)
Well, I just got messaged by a guy who looks like another wrestler. This dude is a dead ringer for Sonjay Dutt. So weird man, so weird. Does this mean the universe will send me an Alex Shelley look alike soon? Here's hoping.
Anyway, the Sonjay look alike, seems a little hyper, as he kind of skipped the intro part and started in with a to do list for our first date. Um excuse me? I did not even agree to actually go out with you? Top it all off he owns a club/bar in town. Last thing I want is another bar star. I have been there, done that 3 times in the past. Yeah, 3 different times. (the creep who cheated on me with my cousin was a bar star 24/7. The dude after him was a Bartender. And the dude after that was Trainwreck the dj/musician.)
Seriously, Any guys at all who are not actors or djs or musicians in this city? Why can't I meet a nice quiet photographer or painter or even an English teacher or something that does not have the guy in a bar all the time?

Every single time

I sit down to write and actually get on a roll with things, the neighbours cause chaos.
I can not write when there is anything going on. I can't even read when there is noise around.
Putting on earphones and listening to my iPod is too distracting. Just as bad as the cross the hall neighbour's kid running around in the hallway with his trucks.
And it's the landlord so you know, I can't even bitch to them about it.

I need to move. Still haven't found a place I can afford and it's been since July.

Yeah, I've apparently lived alone too long. Every little sound gets on my nerves. I used to be able to work in the noise all the time when I was younger. Nothing could distract me at all. House was always full with people. 5 of us, plus my sister's friends, my grandma's friends, my dad's friends. Now, just the sound of the neighbours drives me crazy.

Do I have to do research or can I make it up

As you know, I hit some brick walls last week with my novel. I managed to get out of it, now I need to back up the story plot.

I have created a medical issue for my hero. The only thing is, now I have to figure out how much detail to add to it.

When you use a real life medical issue in writing fiction, can you get away with bulldrenning you way through it or do you need to get into heavy research?

Friday, January 8, 2010

My Thoughts on TNA Impact for Jan 4th 2010 (Monday Night 3 Hour Special)

Okay I had to wait for Spike Tv official website to have it. And I realize by now everyone and their dog's grandmother has already seen the show themselves or has read other site's spoilers/reviews.

So going to do this way different today. First off, everyone has been hearing about the fact the replay which is what this is that I saw, was edited from the live show massively. Hold your crickets, this is a flat out bitch fest me ripping apart everyone and everything.... Oh it's on!

You morons in the line talking to whoever the freal that was with the frealing mic, shut up! You don't know dren from good chocolate.

I posted on my gozno blog about the very bad feelings I had all day Monday leading into the show. You can read it here and here I was so upset I did two blog posts on the topic. Caution I do not censor that blog

And the MotorCityMachine Guns! were part of the Steel Asylum match vs Homicide and Kiyoshi vs Creed and Lethal vs Suicide vs Amazing Red. Okay so this was difficult to see as it was inside a large red cage. But I think I spotted Chris Sabin with forearms to Kiyoshi. Alex Shelley was climbing trying to win the match. I could not keep up with this one, the cameras were not close enough and it was chaos. And let's face it, I'm not happy at all about this whole mess and not even going to pretend to be professional this week. Jay Lethal went for the quick win too with a climb up the other side at the same time. Lovely, a chant of "let's go Shelley" Red had a spin kick that I couldn't even see who on. Sabin had a mule kick for Kiyoshi. Shelley fell from the top of the cage to the middle of the ring. Oh God! is he okay? Creed had Kiyosi up for a slam. Homicide turned on Kiyosi with a weapon while Lethal was choking Shelley on the ring apron. That got the whole match dqed. That is total bulldren and the fans know it! Oh jesus freal the other biggest piece of dren in the business just walked out of the frealing crowd. You are trying to make me vomit aren't you? Now is it just me, or did the look on Mr. Shelley's face show the same disgust as I am feeling? when he saw the bucket of dren climb the outside of the cage and sit on it?

Speaking of spoilers and stuff. I read that Alex Shelley has a possible back injury from that show. I hope he's okay.

I know Wolfe wrestled, Raven wrestled, the evil druid Matt Morgan wrestled (yes he came out in his robe again so he's once again the evil druid) but I'm just too pissed off with this episode to talk about much. I don't even feel like making a comment about waiting for that wicked trenchcoat of the Pope's. (which I am still waiting for someone in the X-Division to snag for me)
And since all I care about is the X-Division and Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin. That's all I will talk about this week.
Next week my temper will be under control and hopefully TNA will have gotten their heads out of their asses and be back to normal.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Oh God! He killed her!

I used a screen capture for this post.

I just had the craziest chat with Paula about our blogs and our most popular posts. I was laughing so much the last few minutes I thought I would pop something. This is what happens when you have way too much time on your hands and your friend's boyfriend has gone to bed early and she has nothing better to do.

Paula: does she like me? does she hate me? oooo it's Chris's she hates his hair now I got something to ride him about

Me: when one of them starts to say things like "what's our wife blogging about today" then I know I have them in the palm of my greedy little hand. As I have said countless of times that I nag them because I do not have a husband to nag. I have actually said that in posts. And I have said all it would take for me to stop is 1) he grants me an interview or 2) I get a husband.

Paula: there ya go

Me: So he's stuck with me until one of those two things happens. or kills me with a chainsaw

Paula: killing you would not be good

Me: oh how so?

Paula: you wanna be killed with a chainsaw? I wouldn't want you to be

Me: no that would be painful and messy.

Paula: I'd be sad no more kim. Kim would be SPLAT

Me: more slurt

Paula: *laughing at me*

Me: chainsaw gutting you not a splat more a slurpt...or a gruggle

Paula: so they'd either find you fast or in chris's case find you years from now

Me: *mad fits of laughter till I can't breathe*

Paula: well this is true. and they would only be a few years cause alex would come in and clean and go ewww chris what is this

Me: specially if he kills me in my own apartment. Plenty of books and boxes and piles of dirty stuff to hide me in

Paula: Then chris would start the chainsaw again

Me: I think this might be blog worthy

Paula: it probably is. funny as hell I know that. and chris would go what I killed her and she liked you time to saw you my friend nothing personal just chics and all

Me : *mad laughter* awww you have the imaginary MMG fighting over me

Paula: sure why not? that's what the imagination is for

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Who gave mom the link to the blog post?

I was out with mom and she said she saw the post about my idiot friend telling me to send a photo of my boobs to Chris Sabin.

Mom: you didn't actually send him a photo of your boobs did you?

Me: No. What are you dumb; stupid?

Mom: Cause that would be .....

Me: The kind of thing Setla would do?

Mom: true she would do something stupid like that. Why would you even consider something like that?

Me: I didn't. I was having a conversation with Cash.

Mom: Oh. Why would he tell you to do something like that?

Me: Cause it's Cash. *shrug*

Mom: Why did you say on your blog that you would?

Me: Huh? What? Where?

Mom: You said if he asked for a picture you would send one. In your comments with the interview questions.

Me: Oh, the christmas post. Totally safe. There is no way in hell Chris Sabin will ever ask for a photo of my boobs.

Mom: *laughing so loud everyone in the bakery department of the grocery turned to stare* Oh don't be silly girl. No one would. No one wants to see that.

The Wheel Might Turn but It's still Broken

I used a screen capture for this post.

WWE you rat bastards!
I just watched the last couple of week's worth of RAW. The first of the two had Jericho trying to get fans to keep him on Raw.

The second of the two was the return of Bret Hart.

Let's tackle this in order shall we. Chris Jericho was begging the fans to get behind him so that he wouldn't be fired from Raw and was screaming with a homemade sign that he was a victim of conspiracy.

The MotorCityMachine Guns! already did the conspiracy signs last summer (July 30th 2009) on TNA and Eric Young did the "Don't Fire Eric" campaign back in 2007.

And the second, you had to pull out the biggest thing you could think of to battle TNA Impact. You still came up short. TNA still clung on to their ratings while your show was on the other channel.

And one more thing. On WWE on the Jan 4th 2010 episode of Raw,McManhon's little speech about how Bret earned his chances was word for word what Alex Shelley said on the Dec 17th 2009 episode of TNA Impact in his promo. What you thought that would get past me?

TNA 1 Up

Originally posted on my other blog


Time to dig into the fang mail for another batch of emails from beyond the grave.
Welcome to an overdue issue of "Ask Ardeth" Where anything that can be thought of to ask will be answered by my horror film Heavy Metal Goddess alter ego Ardeth Blood.

Dear Ardeth:

I agree with you that Chris Sabin is a hottie! Please post more pictures of him!!!!!!

Signed Sabin's #1 UK fan

Dear Sabin's #1 UK fan:

Almost everyone agrees with me that he's hot. Or as I like to say, hotter then hell in a bathtub. As far as posting more photos of him, I can only post screen shots when I get an episode of the show.
This is starting to get crazy. I'm getting fan mail for Chris Sabin.
People, understand I'm just a fan of his myself . I have talked about this fact before, I have never actually met him nor have I ever talked to him. All I know of him is what I see on the show every week.

That's all the time we have for this one, come back around and see what other gobs of wisdom Ardeth Blood will dish out and serve to her fiends.

You can email Ask Ardeth at

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

So what are you saying?

The age old argument is that straight men and straight women can not be just friends.
The last 20 years has proved that wrong. Hasn't it?

My family still seems to think that old saying still applies. But then again look at my family. Not the most stable when it comes to relationships to begin with.

Okay, so this is the topic of the night because its been the topic on a few of those online women's magazines. The only thing that seems to be the agreement is that no one trusts the female friends/coworkers.

So let's look at this shall we. Straight men and Straight women can not be "just friends" because the guy will always be attracted to the girl.

Um no sorry not buying that.

That's the rule right? But there is always the exception. Well, hello then, I'm the queen of the exception. Most of my friends in my life have been men. I would say 95% of my friends have been men, and only about 40% of my male friends were gay. So that leaves a large straight male friend percentage.

Follow me.

So if we were to go by the damned rule, then you are going to try to tell me that all of those straight male friends were interested in me? Rrrriiiiggghhhtttt.
I've been alive for nearly 36 years and I can honestly say, none of my male friends have ever been attracted to me. At all.
I am the queen of pathetic I know.

Does that make me the exception or has the rule honestly changed in the last 20 years?


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