What do you mean I cant' watch that video in Canada

Let's start from the beginning.   and I am so going to get my ass kicked from my sister on this but who the freal cares Eh?
Picture it.... 1997, and I'm stranded on my mother's sofa with a broken leg for 8 months.  This was round one of surgery on my ankles.  Anyway,  my sister,  who is 8 years younger then I am, was going through some personal dren at that time.  This was also the time the Backstreet Boys released their first cd in Canada and France.  Ninja became obsessed with the BSB.   (that would be me getting my ass kicked right about now)
Now, I was a die hard metal head so any kind of fluffy pop music made me want to vomit. And I held on to that idea for a very long time.  Well, one night there's me trapped in the living room and my sister stretched out infront of the tv watching Backstreet Boys.  I found myself humming along.  I became hooked.  I admit it, fell head over crutches for Kevin of the Backstreet Boys, which worked out nicely as all my sister's friends seemed to have a thing for the other members and their little group was Kevin-fan-less.
It became the one thing other then Wicca that my sister and I bonded over at that time in life.
Well, she's long since dropped both, but I have not.

I have been reading Eat Pray Love this past week, finding myself wanting to listen to songs from about a decade ago which fits in the timeframe of the book.  And went on a mad search for one video by Nick Carter,  "Do I Have To Cry For You"  which is one of my all time favourite slow songs. Yes I'm a total weeping puppy when it comes to romantic mushy stuff.  So here's me searching the internet cause I want to watch this video from 2002, and I keep getting  "Sony Music has removed that video as it is no longer available in your Country".

Um what? Pardon me?  What do you mean I cant' watch it?  It's a music video.   It took some finding, but I did find one on the official Sony Music youtube.  I love this song it's so sappy.  I love this video cause the acting is so bad.  And well it's Nick.

Love in India -Movie

I just watched this documentary on iTunes.   Now, you've heard me say before that I am a documentary freak. Been known to rent dvds of movies I've had for years on vhs  just for the commentary.  (best rock-doc I have ever seen was  Metal: A Headbanger's Journey ) 

This film Love in India left me confused. It seemed to ask more questions then actually explore anything. I didn't learn much from it other then the fact Gods/Goddesses are so interwoven.  But, we already knew that. 
This talks about society's double standard on marriages in India, as well as the most popular mythology in regards to sex/love.  Parts of which sounds very similar to that of Dionysus (the interwoven gods part) and left me feeling kind of disappointed.
We follow the film maker and his lover over a course of time (we never find out how long they were shooting for) as they interview friends and family about their personal views on marriage, and the lack of sex education classes. 

I'm not sure I walked away from this one liking or hating it.  It's one I wouldn't mind seeing again and having someone to discuss it with.

Sidenote:  it's a subtitled film.

Are you loosing sleep over me?

So I'm working on the 3rd draft of my novel, and  need to ask the men reading this,   and I really need some honest feedback; how bad is a break up on your end?

My straight male friends have stopped answering my questions.  It seems I'm getting too personal with my questions. 

Actually one of my favourite songs is "You're the Reason"  by Bobby Edwards (you're the reason I don't sleep at night/I'm betting you're not loosing sleep over me/but if I'm wrong don't fail to call)

If you could feel what I'm thinking

That's a quote from an old, old Eddie Eastman song. 

It's one of those days. 
I seem to be having those alot lately.  Just kinda blah.   A ton of dishes that I just don't want to face, but at some point in the next few hours have to as, I have no clean dishes at all. Not so much as a spoon.  That's what 3 days of cooking/baking does. 

Waiting around like every week now for iTunes Canada to have TNA for download.  So far, still waiting.  I really hope they have it before the weekend you know.

I got another book in the mail for review.  Yay me. 

Well, I'm in the process of shutting down all my ning sites.  Which is sort of sad but over due.  And the reason is because Ning.com  is going to a pay site.  I just can't afford it.  Can't afford it for one site let alone the fact I was running 4.  (my company one,  my vampire site, my pagan and my horror) 
My admins team are relieved too.

But on a lighter note,  I have up my sleeve some video reviews for next week.   Hoping to have them next week. Time and energy permitting.   The book review will have to be my top to do lister for the next few days. And it's historical fiction so it's not my usual genre.

Don't worry, the wrestling columns will be up as soon as possible. 

Remember, life should be filled with food, laughter and bad camera work always.

Marilyn Manson is still cool right?

Stop laughing this is serious.   Well as serious as I can get.
I am doing a writing exercise, and need to create a character that is cutting edge, only my age is showing. Big time.
The character a 25 year old girl.     Me, a 36 year old woman.    See the issue.  

I got my musical taste from my Uncle.  Uncle was a metal head, and so was I.   Sepultura, Pantera, My Dying Bride, COC, Testament, Overkill, Motley Crue (Nikki Sixx is still a god!)  you get the idea.  I have a younger sister Ninja, who I used to go to concerts with back 13 years ago, boy bands mostly.  Her tastes have gone in a different direction from day one, Ninja and I are night and day to each other.  Anyways,  my musical evolution went from Sepultura to Frank Sinatra without missing a beat. Uncle's went to classical opera.  Yeah, no joke. Getting a lift from him now is filled with opera singers on his cd player.
 
I know for someone who spends their life online, I am so out of touch with pop-culture.  Are goths even still goths?  Are punks even still listening to Sex Pistols ?     What's going on here?

This is the big downfall of being a writer, you spend more time alone in your own world in your own head and loose total ability to socialize.  

Someone help!   Music,  seems I need some new stuff as does my character.   Leave me some notes on what I should be adding to my music collection.

I don't love you anymore.

 Well, yeah that's how I am feeling right now.

Big Money Rustlas -Trailer

Okay now I'm not sure how patient I can be on this....

Devil's in my head

Quoting L.A. Guns from the song "Long Time Dead" from the Vicious Circle album.
Why... cause that's what I am listening to right now... on cassette!  Yeah it's that old. And discontinued from what I am told so I have not been able to find it on cd.

Anyway, the 10 of Swords,  or as my friend Erin likes to say  "The 10 of S words."  old SNL skit from like a million years ago when SNL was still worth something.  I did a reading this morning, and that damnable card popped up again, and again again and again... you get the idea it's haunting me.
Usually this card is shown as someone laying face down in the gutter with 10 sharp swords/daggers/knives in their back and skull with a large puddle of blood under them.   Nice Eh? 

Well, actually it is.
It's a very deceiving card, the term don't judge a book by it's cover was made for this card.  Yes, it is a card of pain.  Pain in the past. This card is a card of balance, forgiveness, self esteem and rebirth. Things are never as bad as they seem. It's a card that is telling you to -roll with it- the situation is over, time to grieve if necessary but relief is now at hand.  The end of a cycle and preparing you for the next.

I haven't figured out just what it's screaming at me about today, but I'm sure I will at some point.

Muse me

Someone left a comment the other day on one of my other posts, asking me what I am looking for in a man.  My reply was actually really snotty.  Totally asshole of me. 
The last 24hours because of a crazy situation of information coming to my attention, information I have to admit I didn't like finding out,  I have been thinking.  
I've talked about the fact that I need to have a guy in my life or at least a crush in order to be creative.  I need a Muse.
I've never admitted it before, but what I want out of a guy is to be his Muse.  I've never admitted it before because I never believed I deserved to be seen that way.  But it's what I want. 
So to answer the person honestly and without venom, I want to inspire a man. 

I 'm guessing that is  big key to finding the One, my soulmate,  (yes remember we've gone over this a million times, I believe in soulmates)   he'll have a new creativity when he meets me.  I'll be his Muse.

Egotistical - no.  Honest for the first time in years - honest to myself anyway.

Music Break.... Adam Cohen

Look what I found while tripping the net for cargo lint







His self titled cd from 1998 is still one of my all time favourites. Hard to believe these vids are 12 years old. They totally hold up.

Some evil to your head

Quoting Artificial Joy Club song Psychic Man for that opening title.

Okay, so I have said on this monster mash over a year ago that I had started trying to learn belly dancing. Trying being the key word. Why I am not getting too far with it, and there for no vid of me yet at it, has alot to do with my shoulder/ribs and back.

Remember the car accident I had back on Sept 1st 2006, it mangled my entire right side from my waist to my shoulder. And well I have that nasty back issue since I was 10. But anyway, I started up again with the trying to learn belly dance. Seems when I am not trying I seem to be able to make a hoser out of myself by half way dancing.

Let me set the photo for you shall I. When I think about doing the moves, my zombie eaten brain can't seem to get my stupid body to move, but when I am standing around just waiting for a bus with my iPod on, well I end up having people stare at me like I am having a fit or something.

Yes that's right my Spudguns, I dance when I am not even thinking about trying to. And I'm sure that I make for a fairly interesting - to say the least- idiot of myself without even trying to.

So the message of the day is .... Don't even think about it. Move, groove and be on intuition.

Which brings me to my next little mouth dropping.

I have shown my ability for poetry. I was published years ago when still in high school, and college and a few years after that, in local papers and an underground American mag (Macabre Manse Best of Gothica and Beyond) And I've added bits and pieces on this bloggy-blog over the years.
Well, last year I had written a piece for a guy. I never gave it to him, totally chickened out cause I'm a total coward. But I did show it off to a few of my friends and their husbands. Wanting mostly the opinion of the very straight married guys. The reactions were like this....

50 year old Female friend : "If he doesn't scoop you up right on the spot he's a looser who doesn't deserve you."
Her husband : " That's beautiful. Send it now send it now. That's just beautiful"
Her 20 something year old son : " You have a nice way with words. I could turn that into a song."
The High Priestess : "KIM!!!! SEND IT!!! He's going to love it"
High Priestesses husband : he had nothing to say cause he cried. I made a 35 year old straight man cry with my writing.

Well, I am a coward and just could not send it. Freal, I don't even know if he's into poetry. That would be a big bad had I sent it to this guy I don't even really know, and find out he doesn't even like poetry right... right?

And the point is still go with your gut on things. My intuition was to write the pretty little poem and send it to him. Here I am a year later and it's just too late. This is one fear I don't think I can face. And no, I am not going to post that one here. It's too revealing, too innocent, too raw, too naked. No, it's not a dirty smutty poem either, just very ... sugary. Not the me I have let you all see on this blog. It's more Kimberly less Ardeth.

I just can't seem to get it out of my head to send it to him. The universe needs to start sending me some clear signs cause I'm as mixed up emotionally as a girl can get.

The sun has faded

I used screen capture for this post.

I will hope that someone has finally gotten the hint with my screaming every week, that the MotorCityMachine Guns! do not get enough air time.
I love them. My Spudguns love them. It's why we're here. To be the sick puppies we are and get crazy when we see them.

I have been saying for months that they need to have the tag team titles. And if I don't see those belts around their tiny waists in the next few weeks; someone is getting an angry letter. (Mr. Sabin, Mr. Shelley) Oh yeah, you don't want to make a Canadian angry cause we will have you neck deep in paperwork. Plus the paper cuts sting like hellfire, and you can't hold your Tim Hortons roll up the rim to win coffee cup proper.

I was glad to finally see them have a promo on this weeks episode (March 15th 2010) cause it has been 3 whole months since they did a promo. Little short for my taste, but then again I could watch them read the lyrics of a Headstones cd. Or you know cook.

Hey... you know how alot of novels go to audio book; well, do you think in a million years from now when my novel finally gets published and sees the bright neon lights of a book store Mr. Shelley will do the voice reading of it? (actually things are on course enough that it might be out by next year this time)

Dance Baby Dance

Found this on youtube. How can you be in a bad mood after watching this?

Cheap Skywriting

Communication.

It seems to be the topic de jour.

I'm sitting here listening to my Artificial Joy Club cd Melt, with the song Skywriting on repeat.
My favourite track on the album. And it got me thinking about some of my poetry. I ended up going through some of my scrapbooks looking for a few pieces I did back when I was still with Trainwreck. My most creative time for poetry actually.
Most of which I have forgotten about. Why, well because they are all about him. Yeah, I am that cliched and pathetic. When I am in a relationship or have a crush, I communicate to the guy by making him the center of my art.

Not on purpose.

No shocker there eh? as my blog is living proof of that fact.

Also no shocker that men and women communicate differently. Take for example, I had done a drawing of Trainwreck and photographed it. I gave him the photograph of the drawing. He tossed it into the glove compartment of his truck and did not even acknowledge it. I was crushed for days. Then one night at the bar when he was djing, he rigged the door prize of the night for me to win. I was insulted.
Our communication styles were so different. I think in art and he thought in money.

I think that's why so many women are drawn to romance novels/movies. It's the idea of the grand gesture.

What made Percy Bysshe Shelley such hot dren? You know, I have read his poetry and I find it lack luster. But yet, he was considered, and still is considered, one of the greatest poets ever.
It was part of what seduced Mary Shelley. No surprise when you think about it either, that both of their most popular works shared the same title. Frankenstein or the Modern Prometheus and her husband's Prometheus Unbound .

I'm still searching for that kind of creative connection. But the message seems to disappear just when I think I have found that soul collaborator.

Can you share such a deep intimacy like that without falling in love? When someone opens the floodgates of creativity in you, what do you do when they close the door?
I think Mary Shelley got off lucky. Percy died on her. She lived her whole life knowing he was the One, knowing she had been his soulmate, his muse. There are some of us who still have to turn the corner down the street and hold our breath that we do not bump into our ex.

Least you step in that dog dren again and the stink never comes off.

We have come along way since the days of Mr. and Mrs. Percy Shelley. Maybe too far. Not only do we have a million ways to decode the communications we developed, we have just as many ways to block out the noise.
Men see a caller id and choose not to answer. They text cause it is less stress for them then actually picking up the phone. Webcamming has replaced a walk as a first date.
All this makes the face to face time that much more confusing when we do get there.

I guess it's time we got back to saying what we mean and meaning what we say.

Another song on the Melt cd has a line that goes "I say what I feel it gets me into trouble I feel what I say "

Miscommunication or what?

666 Posts

Whoo Hoo!
I have hit 666 posts on this blog!

Wicked.

How do I want to celebrate this post? Well, I could go into a whole thing on the number 9. (6+6+6=18=9) Or chat about the Lovers card in Tarot. Or I could talk about the movie the Omen.
But, not only have I done all that on other sites, that is what would be expected in reference to the number 666.

I can't do what you would expect. And I can't go on and chat about Mr. Shelley or Mr. Sabin in this post either, cause that is what my regular Spudguns would expect.

How can I celebrate having reached 666 blog posts without doing what you would all expect from me?

I know, we'll dance! (I found this on youtube )

If I started a rumour would You believe it

It was reported yesterday that Canadian singer Gordon Lightfoot was dead. Big Rumour.
The singer is very much alive and on tour. But because it was twittered faster then the speed of light, people believed it.

Shows you the power of not just the internet but of words. Rumours are not always a good thing, and other times they are the best thing to happen to you. Mr. Lightfoot was googled more in the last 24 hours then the normal celebrities that are at the google top list every day.


So the question I present to you is if I said something, would you believe me without question?

Example : If I tell you that Jay Lethal is currently working on a British sit-com would you question me? Would you suddenly google Jay Lethal ? Would you cause a twitter traffic jam on JB's twitter asking when the show will air and on what channel?

Wither it is true or not, I have you wondering. Is it really that far fetched? I mean, the TNA wrestlers are really popular in Britain and we haven't seen much of Jay Lethal on Impact as of late.

Example : If I told you I asked Chris Sabin to marry me, would you laugh it off? Given the amount I blog about Chris Sabin, it would make sense. I mean, why would I talk about one man so much if I wasn't really connected to him?

Wither it is true or not, I have you wondering. Is it really that far fetched? I mean, this is not an official TNA site, nor is it an official Chris Sabin site, so I 'm not getting paid at all to blog about them. So why would I spend so much time blogging about him other wise?

I could come up with a few more examples but why? And TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT I have no idea why Jay Lethal has not been on Impact as of late, and I sort of did ask Mr. Sabin to marry me. As a gimmick. But you know if he ever wants...

3 playlists and it's only 10am

8:54 am Woke up after a not so restful night of 3 hours sleep. I seem to have twinged my back and I have no idea what I did.

9:07 am coffee and morning round of pills. Yay, after not having my acid reflux meds for two days and having a difficult time of vomiting, I have my meds. Which means coffee coffee coffee.

9:16 am iPod shuffle is geared up with Headstones, Matt Dusk, Twiztid, Backstreet Boys, Hugh Dillon and Billy Idol. Realize it's too early for BSB and shuffle til I find some Twiztid.

9:27 am put iPod down and have loaded Dark Lotus into dvd player scaring the neighbours

9:40 am check emails. Have gone searching through old home videos of friends from hundred years ago, and found 30th birthday party footage where VLHE made a comment about having been out the night before and having a bad taste in her mouth. She said maybe it was the tequila, or maybe the whiskey, or may the beer. I said or maybe the boy in the tie dyed shoes. She laughed cause she could not deny it.

10:00 am blogging and in very good mood even though I am still stuck in apartment cause the city is an ice rink and I desperately need to get to the grocery as am out of everything and down to last 5 packages of ramen noodles and half a dozen eggs.

New Jude Law movie

Is this what Repo the Genetic Opera is based on?

This is what everyone is thinking is it not? So I just went to the Chapters website and looked up the author of the novel Repo Men (formally called Repossession Mambo) Eric Garcia then went to the wiki for Repo Genetic Opera.

Similarities are abound. Both written with the idea that the world has gotten to the point that we must have to pay massive for organ transplants and the repo men themselves have to go into hiding. Both were shot in the Fall of 2007 in Toronto.

Repo Genetic Opera was created originally in the 1990's as a stage production that was turned into a film.

Repo Men (Repossession Mambo) was written in 2003-2005 as a screenplay/book that was turned into a film.

I did not care for Repo Genetic Opera. It lacked something for me, though it had a few good original ideas running through it. It seems Genetic Opera came out first.

Best of

Everyone is doing a best of so what the freal.

The best book I read this year was Julie and Julia by Julie Powell.
The best cd of the year for me was W.I.C.K.E.D. by Twiztid.
The best movie of the year was Star Trek remake
The best tv show was Eastwick.

I know I have mixed tastes.

Make your move or it's the same sad song for you

Yes my fiends, I am once again quoting Hugh Dillon as a title.

I will try not to be my total downer self in this post. But, remember those skull splitting headaches I talked about few months ago? Well, I finally got my appointment booked for that damned MRI. I go in two weeks. Should be interesting, as my doctor doesn't think they'll find anything. Yeah, oldest joke running, nothing in my brain.

Okay, so the new running joke me and WWEGIRL have happening, is my crush on wrestler Sheamus. See now, I had avoided wwe wrestling for the last while, cause I'm a TNA girl. But since hanging with WWEGIRL, and reading her posts, and all, well I made the mistake of asking who the vampire looking guy was. To WWEGIRL's ultimate dismay, I think she even vomited. I know her kids did, but her littlest has had the flu so... but I digress again as always.
And I tried to turn it into one of my gimmicks, but you know what. I just don't have it in me. All the wit and superspit I have been using for the other wrestlers, I just have burned out.

Yeah, what can I say, the MotorCityMachine Guns! got the better parts of me.
And they know that too. I mean, my mom even asked me one day while we were sitting at the doctor's office (one of her appointments this time) why I bother writing this here blog. Told her cause I need to. I need some sort of something to prove I existed. Not that anyone who comes to this thing reads it for me. Everyone reads this comedy fest to see what I have to say about Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley.


Oh but hey, cheer up I promised to make you smile today. So here's a photo of me back in 1974. I was born with my hips out of the joints, and had to have a body cast from six months to a year old. Aw yeah, my first cast. And it was plaster too. The uber heavy stuff that you could not get wet at all. I can only imagine how much hell I was for my mom at that time in my life. Wasn't I just the cutest little redhead ever?
Smile, it wasn't you.

So this is me making my move. I'll be back with bigger gimmicks and sharper words. Stronger superspit.

Creeping Screams!