Sunday, May 31, 2009

I got out of the apartment

As you can see I got out of MY apartment and went to dinner with mom. There, the Hermit Girl is socializing.

As you can see I am back rocking a mildly bad windblown version of my Billy Idol do.

I wanted to take a few photos of the restaurant but it was too crowded. And the photo I have of mom is not the best. But...

Friday, May 29, 2009

My Thoughts on TNA Impact for May 28 2009

Once again I missed the ppv. (No cable.) Damn I really wish iTunes Canada would get the ppvs. And why does Spike Tv website have commericals during their replay?

Amazing Red vs Suicide for the X-Division belt. I am at the vomit worthy point with Suicide and no one is listening to me. Suicide won the match and is still the holder of the X-Division belt. (boo!)

Sting is now the MainEventMafia leader. Kurt Angle looked like a child who was just scolded by the teacher as he walked down to the ring with that pout.

Having Samoa Joe threaten the Mafia was a nice touch.

Mick Foley has really gotten into this heel role. I like it. Foley needs to get a new catch phrase, he's over used the word tweek in the last month.

Stevie Richards....what the freal are you doing? That character...I mean ego has no direction. Are they trying to channel Raven or something?....Speak of the devil and he will fly in. RAVEN! I think I actually jumped up and down like a 12 year old at a Boyband concert when I saw RAVEN!

I have said before I really like this team the British Invasion, and them offering up the chances to win the briefcases was an fabulous idea. What is up with the one dude who never seems to say anything though? (I rock that Billy Idol hair do better then you do) Cody Deaner taking up the first challenge of a Ladder match was unexpected. Kind of lame but unexpected. Both of them landed alittle off kilter on that ladder, er um... actually the ladder landed on Deaner, and the member of British Invasion landed hard on his knee. I cringed. When Deaner fell out of the ring, onto the security bar and then the floor it was like watching a bad scene in a horror film, and then Deaner lost.

Eric Young was looking almost demonic. I love it. Do it again. His match against Jeff Jarrett was a strong showing, which made Young look both like the wrestler he really is and a promising heel. Jarrett won the match. Not much of a shocker there as it is heading into his own King of the Mountain match.

Daniels vs A.J. Styles for the second round of the King of the Mountain match wasn't as impressive as I was expecting it to be. Styles winning did shock me, I thought Daniels would have won but... The return of Shane Douglas I did not see coming either. Wow, very cool.

MotorCityMachine Guns! and Creed and Lethal in their promo was; well annoying. I have said it more then once, Lethal needs to drop the Macho Man routine. Chris Sabin had the quote of the night (and was funny) asking what we are all thinking, why was Lethal yelling. Alex Shelley looked like he was ready to curl up at JB's feet and go to sleep.

Office Style: The Briefcase

Upon graduating college my parents bought me a briefcase. It was one of those hard cased, fake leather ones that they sold at the office supply store.
I loved it. Still have it, still use it. Now remember, back a billion-million years ago when I graduated college (1995) briefcases were still a very vital part of a career person's well career. It was more then just a useful way to carry your files and dayplanner around, it was a statement that said "I am here I want to be heard".

Now a days, you don't see them around here anymore. You see alot of messengers' bags, and computer bags but you don't see briefcases. Are they extinct? Did they become too heavy for the modern career person to carry? Are they too retro for the modern college student? Or am I missing something here? Is it just because the corporate world is not what it used to be?

When I watch old movies from the last 30 years, a briefcase is the status symbol used in every one to represent the corporate latter climber. One of my favourite films is Clockwatchers And in it Parker Posey's character buys a briefcase to make her feel and look like she is more important then she is at her job. It becomes the center of some jokes in the film, but it is also a key element to uncovering a clue to the movie's plot line.

When did it go out of style?

Next time I will talk about the business card (American Psycho)

Thursday, May 28, 2009

If your not reading her stuff you should be

I think I found my new favourite blog. Seasoned Sex by Pamela Tames. Funny, insightful, and honest. This blog is amazing.

Being I hit 35 this past spring, I am officially in the middle aged category. Now, granted I am not menopausal yet, (I have maybe 5 years left in me) but I am one of those women who *gasp * dates younger men. (if you call my lack of a life as dating then...) so stumbling on her blog had me laughing and agreeing with everything she has been writing.

So who knows, maybe I will learn a few things (yes you can teach an old bitch new tricks) about myself and the men I chase in circles like a dog for their tail.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Things that are lost in my apartment

  1. My copy of Frankenstein (book)
  2. My copy of Rock Star by Jackie Collins (book)
  3. My winter gloves
  4. My purple scarf
  5. My umbrella
  6. My Insane Clown Posse Big Money Hustlas t-shirt
  7. My Insane Clown Posse Clowns on the Floor t-shirt
  8. My Buffy the Vampire Slayer Sunnydale High t-shirt
  9. My cowboy boots
  10. My photos from my time with Viva-Loco Homegirl Esq and Shaman's Kiss (our band )
I am tired of looking. Things literally tend to disappear around this place. I swear I am living on the Hellmouth.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009 vs .com

Lalalalala-oh look a movie I have been searching for; for years. It only cost $400.00 What?!
Yeah, you read right.
I was looking for the movie Black Circle Boys, and had it, for $400.00. That better be one hell of a movie if you are going to pay that much for it. As in it better cook you dinner every night for a month and take out the trash for you.
But hold on to your crickets, had a slue of them for get this ; $10.00. Even with tax, shipping and the exchange rate I am still only looking at $20-$25 for this film.
The glitch, it gets shipped by the end of this month but might not make it here till middle of July.
A month and a half wait for a dvd.
Well, I waited twelve years already to get my hands on it, I'm in no real rush.
What's so great about this movie? Besides it being an Eric Mabius film, it's what the Craft was suppose to be.

Fan Art for the MMG....Or According to My sister I need to get out more.

Once upon a time there was a girl. This girl used to have a very very full schedule where she could not find enough hours in the week to get to all her meetings, gatherings, and social events. Then the girl's health took a bad turn and the girl ended up having to have a few surgeries. Soon after depression hit the girl and hit her hard. But the girl pulled out of it and once again got back to her busy schedule. Unfortunately she was to find that her health issues would come back and she would be stuck inside more often. The girl thought there was no hope for her and took the title of Hermit. One night while the girl was tripping the net for cargo lint, unable to sleep and really bored, she started to notice alot of pieces of internet art. She had stumbled on a cult. A cult of internet scrapbookers. So the hermit girl as she was now known to her family, decided to give it a try.

Okay so I was mega bored and started playing around with my screen capture and then used a comic program to do this. The first one is Alex Shelley (shocker for ya eh?)

The second Chris Sabin.

And the third both of them collectively known as the MotorCityMachine Guns! (You don't need to keep telling me that it's not one word. As I said before I know this, I just happen to think it looks cooler this way.)
Yeah I officially have way way way way too much time on my hands. I need a real life. And a husband.

copyright hcvp'09

I sent the photos to Ninja, and she laughed. Well, I suppose she laughed, as she normally does laugh at me. Then she told me that I need to get out and socialize more. Well duh! My reaction, socialize, in this town? Sure I will get right on it. Oh wait, that's the problem to begin with.

Let's see where the big holes in that theory are shall we.

1-There is nothing to do in this city but drink and get high
2-There are no places in this city but taverns, not even a disco type place, just taverns {and faithful readers you remember what happened to our heroine in the past when she dared to go to the taverns right. Click here for a recap and here too }
3-The men in this city roughly of interest are younger then me and look at me like I'm a corpse
4-The men my age in this city are drunk assholes who everyone and their dog's grandmother has slept with already and they all have ten kids each
5-Things cost money
6-Unless you are part of a mommy and me group there is nothing for a single woman to do in this city

Yeah, I think I covered the basics. So why haven't I moved you asked? Well, because I live my life in constant pain, have life long health issues, and can't afford to move. Hence the title of Hermit.
Why don't I have more female friends you ask? Well, the few I have grown to trust over the years are Erin, Butterfly, Setla and Ninja.
We've already covered Ninja, she's my younger sister who has a full time job, is finishing University, and has a gaggle of friends of her own.
Setla is an actor. Enough said.
Butterfly is happily married in Edmonton with 3 kids. Edmonton being the key word, as in out-of this city.
And Erin is also happily married with 3 kids, and has a full time job as a nurse at the hospital. Her life is so busy that even though she lives just across town, we only get to see each other at christmas.
Otherwise, I just don't trust other women. I have been stabbed in the back too many times.

I prefer the company of men. They are more interesting. Nice to look at and listen to.
When did I become this parody of myself? I officially have way way way way too much time on my hands. I need a real life. And a husband.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Ask Ardeth

Time to dig into the fang mail for another batch of emails from beyond the grave.
Welcome to an overdue issue of "Ask Ardeth" Where anything that can be thought of to ask will be answered by my horror film Heavy Metal Goddess alter ego Ardeth Blood.

Dear Ardeth:

You claim that Alex Shelley is the "Sexiest Man Alive" yet you talk more about Chris Sabin. Why is that? Shouldn't you be talking more about Alex Shelley?

Signed Y.B in Thunder Bay.

Dear Y.B. in Thunder Bay:

The answer to that is no. Alex Shelley, as I have stated is the sexiest man alive which puts him at god like status. To blog too much about him would show fault in him and I don't want to think of him as having faults. Therefore, he's off limits for blogging about too much.

P.S. Yolanda I know it's you but thanks for being a repeat sender.

Dear Ardeth:

I heard you were kicked out of the Miss Living Dead Girl contest for being too old. Any truth to that cause I think you would look great as a corpse.
From your number one fan Mr. B. in Montreal

Dear Mr. B. in Montreal:

I am sure you would love that. No, I never got kicked off because I never entered. Gives a girl something to think about thou now.

P.S. Fangs for the Memories
P.S.S. And as I stated once before you are not my number one fan, he lives in Detroit.

That's all the time we have for this one, come back around and see what other gobs of wisdom Ardeth Blood will dish out and serve to her fiends.

You can email Ask Ardeth at

Up Coming Play

Event: The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas "Thunder Bay has a Whorehouse in it!"
What: Performance
Host: frankly scarlet
Start Time: Saturday, May 30 at 8:00pm End Time: Saturday, June 20 at 11:00pm
Where: Lower level, Eatons

And you are asking why am I supporting this icky city? Because my pets, it's Setla's Theater Group. Yes Setla's at it again.

copyright hcvp 2007

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I want this shirt!

The company J!NX only takes paypal which does not work with Canadian banks. So I am hoping to find one around somewhere soon. Till then, I want I want I want.....

I got left off the list

Hmmm. Seems being a D-List Blogger isn't my only un-claim to fame as of late. I was checking out the Blogger Chick list and I see everyone else has been added to a new blogroll, everyone but me.

Now why is that?

a) Could it be because I am not a mommy?
b) Could it be because I am not married?
c) Could it be because I am not american?
d)Could it be because I am not a christian?
e) Or is it all the above?

Or is it because I don't prattle on about the latest episode of whatever reality tv show has the latest hottie in the latest fashion?
Here's the thing, there has to be more of me out there. Where are all the single-non-mommies-non-religious bloggers hiding? If you are thinking it, then blog it, and lend me your link. Let's start a movement.
Equal rights for the rest of us bloggers.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Drive Thru

Recipe: One part Nightmare on Elm Street, One part Happy Birthday to Me, topped with a fresh slice of ICP and a dash of Fast Food Nation.

This 2007 film had done it's horror homework. I mean, really what's creepier then a 7foot killer clown with a foot long custom made butcher's knife chasing you around town? Maybe the addictiveness of the burgers he represents.

Plot: One week away from her 18th birthday, Mac's friends are all being slaughtered and the bodies disappearing. She's getting mysterious clues before hand as to who is next via old toys from the 70's that belonged to her mother. Her mother and her friends back in the 70's were part of a prank gone wrong at the local Hella-Burger. Revenge is best served with an extra order of fries.

Did I mention that he's called Horny the Clown and all the burgers are named after demons, and that all the Hella-Burger toys are sexually named? I did have a bit of a problem watching a film who's heroine looked like a carbon copy of Avril Lavigne, I just kept routing for the clown.

I smell a sequel.

Friday, May 22, 2009

My Thoughts on TNA Impact for May 21 2009

Once again I had to go hunting the show down on the net. (iTunes Canada seems to be now a full week and half late with the episodes.)

Jeff Jarrett saying that he is the 4th man in the ppv this weekend was not a shocker. We all saw that coming ....even my blind buddy Gerry (and he's not a wrestling fan at all)

Kurt Angle hunting Sting through the building ....why? And Scott Steiner running back down the stairs saying it's too high for him was funny.

Having Beer Money Inc. run out to save Team 3D from the British Invasion was a nice way to start the set up of Beer Money Inc. going face. But why are the "run in saves" lately so well, late. Couldn't just once someone who is running out to save someone else actually save them before the five minute beat down mark?

Eric Young's match against Sting was...typical. Is there any other wrestler who can take a flip out over the top rope like Young does? Too bad he tapped out.
Eric Young is going heel right? Please! Cause you know you don't want to piss off a Canadian ; cause you will find yourself buried in paperwork for years. (Canadians will get that joke) But wait, Young has been "off the mainland" for how many years now? Either way can we see Eric Young turn heel!

Anyone else think Matt Morgan looks like an evil Druid in some bad cult movie in that ring robe thingie? His match against Kurt Angle was fast paced and not too shabby. Too typical on Angle's part though. Angle needs to start digging into his bag of moves and use something new. Speaking of something new, the announce team during that match...they said that Matt Morgan needed to work through the pain of the Ankle Lock. Guys, you say that every week to the point it is starting to sound like a joke. You need a new line when calling the Ankle Lock.

With all the former ECW people that are involved with TNA as of late, I was sitting here just kind of daydreaming over the idea of Joel Gertner being on the show. That would be cool. Does anyone know if he's still in the wrestling business?( Does anyone know if he's even still alive?) If he is, then it would be cool to see him swing over for a show or two or a months' worth of episodes.

Jeff Jarrett vs Samoa Joe... sorry I was appreciating the colours white and silver. (raise your hand if you get what I mean) Nothing much to say about this one, it was a DQ.

Mick Foley vs a photo of Rocky....WTF? (actually I was having Deja Vu while watching that. A grown man with long hair and a full beard staring at a photo of a dark haired man threatening it...oh right my ex did that once...)

Lethal Consequences vs Daniels and Suicide vs MotorCityMachine Guns! had a very interesting match. The dynamics of these 6 men in one ring had me glued. When Suicide was about to get squished in the corner, Shelley grabbed Creed and threw him down with what looked like (by his body language ) to me disgust and not just the need to interfere. This was the same time that Chris Sabin DDTed Jay Lethal from the top rope, not just ; but with a leap from the top rope to the center of the ring (Sabin's part monkey right?) Daniels running in to break up the pin (are Shelley's Frogsplashs getting higher each week?) Suicide taking the pin over Shelley (not happy ) with what looked like a very painful set of knees to the chest. (can you break a rib/breast bone with a move like that?)
Anyone else notice the last few weeks that Alex Shelley seems to get hit in the nose/mouth alot or is he covering his face out of extreme habit while in the ring?

Hey isn't it Alex Shelley's birthday this weekend? Happy Birthday Mr. Shelley


Thursday, May 21, 2009


I am laughing my ass off with this one. Check this blog post out. I think she hit it right on the nose.
I am now adding that term to my personal dictionary.

Monday, May 18, 2009

My Thoughts on TNA Impact for May 14 2009

Um er okay. I got impatient with the show not being on iTunes Canada yet this week and went hunting for it online. The official Spike TV website actually had it working this week. (the May 7th 2009 show finally was available on iTunes Canada )

Mick Foley having the dvd footage and claiming innocence at the beginning of the show was a good start. Predictable but a good start to the show. I like it when they bookend an episode.

Having Steiner as the MainEventMafia leader for this week could have been used a bit better. They had a great idea but didn't use it to the best potential.

Eric Young's match was lack luster. Are they setting up for him to go heel? I would like to see that.

A day in the life of Jeff Jarrett...boring. Since when is following kids around town interesting? Please don't ever do that again.

Okay so the Suicide gimmick hasn't ended yet. End it please!

Speaking of gimmicks, can't we let Jay Lethal go back to being normal? He's been doing this Black Machismo thing for like 2 years. Please stop. It was funny for the first couple of months back 2 years ago, now it's just tired.

Are we going to find Samoa Joe has a little group of zombies or something? He keeps taking people out of the building like he's collecting them.

The suggestion of JB doing nude karaoke...that would have been a gut busting laugh riot.

The Nash vs No Limit in a handicap match was a good use of time wasting. Don't get me wrong, I am a major fan of Kevin Nash, and I also am enjoying this team of No Limit, but a handicap match? Why? What was the point of that? None of them got to showcase their real ability in this match. Isn't almost time for Nash to cut his hair and go face again?

Holiday vs Booker T in an I Quit match. Um okay, sure. It was nice to see Holiday in a singles match, too bad he lost. His little quirps were funny thou. Let's team Holiday up with JB and see what kind of comedy duo we can create. Actually that is a really good idea.

The Tag Team tournament saw the British Invasion vs Suicide and Amazing Red. This was a really good match considering it was a Suicide match. I am actually liking the British Invasion. The British Invasion now go against Beer Money Inc. And Suicide waiting like a cornered cat for the MotorCityMachine Guns! and Leathal and Creed to try to take his mask. Right! I really believed that he'd wait around that long, and was cornered. Oh wait, he wasn't cornered as he could have slipped out of the ropes at any point. Daniels running out to help didn't really help just kind of stood there looking stupid.

It's Senshi under that isn't it? or is it Kaz? The double short powered drop kick to the chest he keeps giving everyone makes me think it 's Senshi. But the story line ...ooopps I mean the way Kaz left back in the Fall all depressed makes me think it's Kaz. Can we just unmask Suicide already!

And as always the MotorCityMachine Guns! I don't think I have ever seen Alex Shelley interfere in a match so much before. Infact I don't think I have seen Alex Shelley interfere in a match before at all. Did anyone else notice the fact Shelley was sweating abit, cause the camera sure picked up on his arms. (No! Don't tell me Alex Shelley is just a man! I want to believe he's a God!! Seriously, he's too sexy to be just mortal. ) Chris Sabin showed a very impressive offering with his match. He seems to be able to run the ropes like a monkey, the balance he has I haven't seen too; too often. I would love to know the secret to the Hesitation Drop Kick. Too bad he lost the match. Them running into the Suicide match and double kicked him, love it. What was up with Chris Sabin's little giggle? Did Alex Shelley tell the fans to kiss his ass? (Not sure if it was an invitation or a statement) Wow, I think I might have been jealous of Suicide for a few seconds as he was being mauled by Shelley. ( yes my mind is always in the gutter when it comes to Shelley and Sabin) Why do I feel I am forgetting something?...oh right as always I must now bitch about Sabin's hair...yeah I am getting alittle tired of that rant myself so you know the score on his hair already. I said one time few months ago I could watch the MotorCityMachine Guns! read the phone book, so you know I am always happy when they have alot of air time. I just don't under stand why they haven't had the tag team belts yet?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Commenting on your comments

In the two posts I have done recently So He's Not Mr. Darcy and What I learned from Sex and the City Part 10 there seems to have been some confusion.
Both topics dealing with men I happen to like, both got comments that were kinda, well one sided.
And I can see where all the hoopla came from. No one is reading the What I learned from Sex and the City Part 10 properly.
I have a paragraph where I am talking about wrestler Chris Sabin, and I popped in a set of brackets with a list, on the other side of the bracketed list I continued to talk....about Chris Sabin.
Not the last name in the brackets.
In case no one has bothered to notice, I am a major fan of the tag team MotorCityMachine Guns! (but if you read me on a weekly basis you know this people.)
When I said "The dude is a frealing genius at what he does. I am praising him every bloody chance I can get. He's talented, beautiful and flaw bad hair." I am still going on about Chris Sabin.
Some people think I was rambling on about actor/writer Joel Hynes. But I was not.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

If I Flirt With You Will You Flirt Back?

It's no big shocker to anyone who's been reading my blog the last few years that I can't flirt.
I mean it.
I have no skills with flirting. I have given up pretty much with any kind of subtly when it comes to men and just go in for the jugular. Which can be messy. A guy would need to slap me with a fry pan and drag me back to his cave for me to get that he was even kinda flirting with me.
I don't understand how some women can flirt with a man so easily? I read all these online articles on the art of flirting, watched my friends in real life at the pub/store/gas station etc hook line and reel men in. So how is it I seem to be born without the natural ability to flirt?
I hear the famous line all the time "you just know when a man is flirting with you. You just know when he's checking you out."
Um no I don't actually. I always seem to misread the guy and make a total dren out of myself. Usually scaring the dude.
Buddy of mine told me I should just try insulting one dude to get his attention. (um really? cause it's working oh so well in regards to blogging about .....) He told me to get his attention then get his attention. *wink wink dirty joke *
Okay, so that worked like, well, like um, like ....yeah you get the idea.
The question is "now what?" How does someone who has no natural flirtiness flirt?

Friday, May 15, 2009

Another Bout of Writer's Block....What's New eh?

Picture it. The Year is 2009 and I the Queen of Your Evil Dreams was sitting infront of my laptop clanking out the latest draft of my latest romance novel. And pat me on the back my gremlins, this one did not have one single vampire, werewolf or witch in it. None. Not at all. Just normal people.
Course there was a love triangle what do you take me for? If there is no conflict then there can't be anything worth anything at the end right? Right.
Anyway, I got to the middle of the chapter and poof. No more words. Like the ink in my brain had dried up, or slurped out by zombies or something. I don't know. So I puttered around listening to music, made dinner and even cleaned the bathroom. Still when I returned to the computer nothing but a blank page. I don't like blank pages. They scare me. Too much empty space, and too much empty space can led to Scarrans. And you know how they can get, all about taking over the universe and wormhole weapons.
That's what you get for being on a roll for three days straight, you get burned out and loose your creative flow.
{Wow heavy right. Like don't let the giant bowl of lentils hassle me right cause no one else around here does anything right. } Yeah it got so bad I went and watched 3 episodes of The Young Ones hoping that would kick start my creativity. Nope.
So while I pace around trying to get back on track with the story plot I got all this uselessness from old tv shows crammed inside my head.
Great. Lovely. Now what?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

So He's Not Mr. Darcy

This is me addressing the comments left on my post What I learned from Sex and the City Part 10
This is me right now, addressing the comments.

I am so sorry I do not follow the heard. No wait I am not sorry at all. Not everyone thinks alike. That is why we blog. To express our emotions, tastes, and to share parts of ourselves. I have never understood the heard mentality of liking someone your friends liked. It never made sense to me.
You can not help liking who you like, and if they are not the most popular choice who the freal cares. You are being honest to you and your soul.
So this is me being honest to me and my soul. At lest I am not hiding behind a wall, when I give my opinions you have a face to attach to it. I see that the people who had something to say about my taste in men didn't have the balls to do it openly. You all hid behind the Anonymous button on your comment list.

The men on my Sexiest List, the men of my dreams are the men of my dreams not yours. And let me firmly stand behind what I wrote again shall I :

1* Alex Shelley
2*Chris Sabin
3*Johnny Depp
4*Hugh Dillon
5*Joel Thomas Hynes

Guess what I have a few more to add to this list :

6* Monoxide
7* Jamie Madrox
8* Trent Acid
9* Eric Young
10* Kris Lemche

Maybe some of us on the planet don't go for the Mr. Darcys, we go for the Mr. Bingleys.

My Thoughts on TNA Impact for May 7 2009

Well, I don't really have any. Why? What? But you're always so damned vocal on the topic of the show.
Well, iTunes Canada didn't seem to get the episode for May 7 2009 (at lest not as of Noon on May 14) and the official Spike TV website for whatever reason didn't have it working either. Starting to think the universe didn't want me to see the show last week.
Then someone on one of the horror sits I hang out on told me it was uploaded to YouTube. Now, I hate searching the net for things. But I finally got to see it in cut up clips on YouTube. So to whomever it was that uploaded it I Worship Your Shadow. Seems I wasn't the only one left in the lurch this past week as alot of fans complained between Spike TV website and iTunes and a few other cable/satellite feeds didn't get the show.

Here's hoping all is back to regular scheduled programming tonight.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I just have to ask

This one is going to piss a few people off but do you think I care?

I have noticed a trend as of late in movies and books. That trend being the guy falling in love. I mean really crazy-not sleeping-staring at the ceiling-hunting the streets for the girl who he had a glimpse of - falling in love.
This is something I have only witnessed in fiction.
The men in my life have never done this. When I talk to my buddies none of them ever have stories like this. When I talk to my married friends, their husbands never have stories like this. So when did all the popular books and movies get the idea to make men weeping-mind numbed-loosing control-running through traffic- til the ends of the earth fallen in love role models?

If there are no real life cases to base these stories on then why have they become so damned popular and woven into our love life mythology?
There are more then plenty cases of women who have fallen in love to this extent. Too many to the point it's cliche.
If men are not like that then why and when did we feel the need to build them up in that way? Is it to keep ourselves going and believing in love?

It has me wondering if I even believe in love anymore.
So I just have to ask do men really fall in love or do they just fall into a comfortable routine?

Monday, May 11, 2009

What do you mean the Crullers aren't ready yet?

In the 1995 Canadian vampire movie Blood and Donuts the lead character Earl walks into the donut shop and says "Mollys two crullers now." and she tells him their not ready yet, his reaction "What do you mean the crullers aren't ready yet...then I'll have a glazed."

Why am I quoting this? Well because here it is Monday night and I still am waiting to get my weekly freakly weekly download of Impact from iTunes Canada.
That and I have a craving for donuts today. Major craving. I've had 3 of the damned things already today, so much for my healthy eating. I give up bread and end up eating 3 donuts.
Yeah I am a hoser.

Let's really jump topics.
I was woken up this morning by the doorbell ringing just before 8:30a.m. It was the landlord telling me the water tank burst and the repair guy was on his way but the water would be shut off for half the day. So I got dressed and headed over to mom's for the day.
Mom was babysitting today. My 3 year old cousin, who by the by looks just like I did when I was her age. Before I broke my nose twice. So I kinda get why mom goes all weepy and nostalgic when she babysits. Anyways, I went to the grocery for the damned donuts and while I was there one of the people who works there that I grew up with spotted me and said
"You don't need those."
Sorry? I couldn't hear you on account of your being a frealnik. Seriously, we are not best of friends or anything but really, insulting the customers not a smart move chicky.
Then back to mom's with the deep-fried sugar kick, of which I bought a dozen mixed glazed/powdered/cinnamon/chocolate/maple

I get back to mom's to find my cousin who is 3 years old hiding in the cupboard. When I ask why she's hiding she runs out and screams that she pooped her diaper.

First off, she's 3 years old. Why isn't she potty trained yet? They haven't even started to potty train her. Second, if you are old enough to know what you just did and announce it to the entire room then you are too old to be wearing diapers. Wanna here me bitch some more on the topic of the kid; sure I knew you did. She still is being breast feed. WHAT!???? Oh my god! Was my reaction. She's 3 years old (like I haven't said this enough in the last thirty seconds) she has teeth and can chew steak. Why on earth would you still be know what. I don't even want to think about it.
Can you tell I don't approve of the way my Uncle and Aunt are raising her.

Can you tell I am not a mommy. And trust me, if the God and Goddess ever decide to throw me into the mommy pit; I can say without a doubt I would never be one of those mommies. Nope! Nothing with teeth or the potential for teeth is getting near me.

So when did I become the Anti-Mommy Blog-Blogger?

Must have been when I was waiting for the crullers to be ready.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Star Trek Villains = Fabulous Trenchcoats

I just saw the new Star Trek and I think I just found my new favourite ST movie. Let me start by saying the cinema was jammed wall to wall, and this wasn't even opening night. I waited till today because I thought it would be less packed, but man was I wrong.

This one cracks open the mythos of the movie series and rebuilds it from scratch, and let me say that it's a fabulous idea. They could have brought Simon Pegg's character of Scotty in a bit sooner but here's hoping he has a bigger role in the next one, and we know there will be a next one. And I have no idea who most of the actors in this film are because I don't keep up with that kind of stuff.
Has anyone else noticed that the villains in Star Trek always have such cool trenchcoats? (Shinzon in the ST Nemesis had the best)

It was refreshing to see a bit more of a badass side to Kirk and a more vulnerable side to Spock in this new film.
This is more then the usual ST fare of tech and wit, this is a love story on a few different levels.

We are introduced to an alternate reality at the very beginning of this film by way of Spock going through a black hole. The results are not realized till 25 years later when the crew of the Enterprise are thrown together to save Vulcan.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Fate or Just an Urban Fairy Tale?

The movie Broken English which stars Parker Posey can be considered the ultimate urban fairy tale. Girl meets Boy while standing in a hotel lobby and is noticed by another Boy who smiles at her. Girl gets dumped and goes to a party where the guy who smiled at her is and they realize they are meant to be together and move to Paris. (Let's take bets on if I cried over this movie) There is one scene in the film when they first meet when he turns to her and says "One more minute and we would have missed each other. It was Fate."

Let me tell you something about Fate. At lest the Fate I have had over the last few years.

Back a few years ago I was hanging out at the Fringe Festival here in town with my sister and her friends, listening to a few bad metal bands. There was a guy selling cds who started to chat it up with me. One of the girls got all giggly telling me to go back and get his number. I reminded her he was selling cds on the street corner, getting chatty with people was his motive to selling the cds. 3 years later, I see a photo in the local paper of a guy who just happened to be sitting in the same building the cd seller had been standing outside of, with a guitar posing for the Fringe Festival that year. I was glued to that photo. Less then two months later I was walking down the street and something told me to go to the bar two doors down, that if I didn't I would regret it for the rest of my life. I did and bam just like that I met the man who became the Trainwreck. It was the guy from the photo.
Why did Fate throw that bad relationship into my life with such force? No idea.

A few years later, just when I thought I was safe from further badness, I was hanging around Myspace when I got a message from some weird looking dude. Just as I was about to delete it something told me that if I didn't talk to him I would regret it for the rest of my life. So I started chatting with him and bam just like that I met the man who became my Dargo.
Why did Fate throw that complicated relationship into my life with such force? No idea.

Both men were in my life for a year each. Both tied for my longest relationship and both had a massive influence on my life in every level.

All my other relationships were lucky if they made it to three months.

If Fate is suppose to bring people to good happy places, then why have I been lead down a path twice that was nothing but sadness, depression, pain and lost love?
They say we are only given two chances for real love in a lifetime, if those were mine then what does Fate have up it's sleeve for me now?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Is your hero a demon or angel?

It was 1995 the 5th of January and I was in my last year of college. Half the people in the building that day came up to me handing me a copy of the local newspaper asking if I had seen the interview. It said "Interview with El Vampiro". A wrestler who had a vampire gimmick and was from Thunder Bay. How did I not know about this? I was known as the crazy vampire Lady (Lady Lestat to some of them) even back then. He became my hero instantly. In 1999 I got to met him at an autograph signing. I shook his hand and it was as if electricity went through my arm. I was in the presence of more then just an idol of mine. My sister whom I dragged with me, who is not a wrestling fan, who is not a vampire fan said the same thing. When she shook his hand it was like a shock wave up to her shoulder.

Jump now to 2009, and imagine my delight when I walked into the Blockbuster today and found sitting on the shelf a copy of a documentary on Vampiro entitled Vampiro Devil, Angel, Hero. I didn't even know there was a documentary in the works.
It was a strange thing watching this film, and seeing familiar places on there that I can see just by looking out my kitchen window. Stranger still getting to see some of the backstage reality of wrestling.
For anyone who is a fan of wrestling, this is a top notch documentary, giving some insight into the things they have to go through to create a show.
It was painful to watch at moments because of the energy of the film, to see someone I have worshiped and given celebrity status to over the years being so raw with their thoughts. Thunder Bay needs to get off their collective ass and pay Vampiro more respect then it does.

Me meeting Vampiro in 1999 (yes it's really is me.)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

What I learned from Sex and the City part 10

My day was crap how was yours?

The evils of internet rang it's ugly head again. This time I ended up on the phone with a support person who didn't speak English and did not grasp the concept that I have a Mac. I got shuffled around to about 3 more support people who did not speak English until someone who was a Mac tech finally got the phone.

While in a conversation a bit ago with an old friend of mine Setla, she said she has read parts of my blog. I was like "sure. uh huh" thinking she's just saying that to be polite. But she turned to me with a raised eyebrow...well, a raised area where her eyebrow should be as she shaves them off.... and asked me "I thought you liked that wrestler?"

What? Who? Where?

Oh, she was referring to my many posts on Chris Sabin's hair.

" I do like him. A lot. Why you think I blog about him."

I just happen to think he'd look nicer with short hair and shaved. I mean, seriously, he's been my second favourite wrestler since I saw the first episode of Impact back in the Fall of 2005. (We all know Alex Shelley is my favourite) The MotorCityMachine Guns! are my favourite tag team (Yes I am aware that they don't write it as one long word but I think it looks cooler this way) He's on my top 5 list of the sexiest men on the planet. (Alex Shelley is the sexiest man alive, Chris Sabin is the second, Johnny Depp the third, Hugh Dillon number four and Joel Hynes is number five) The dude is a frealing genius at what he does. I am praising him every bloody chance I can get. He's talented, beautiful and flaw bad hair.

Remember no one is totally perfect, everyone needs a flaw or two.

And this got us on the topic of men in general. In season 6 episode 87 of Sex and the City (Let There Be Light) the question of the week is "When it comes to men, even when we try to keep it light, how do we wind up in the dark?"
Which kinda sums up my thinking right now. I have been chatting online for awhile now with a great guy, who can't seem to make up his mind if he's interested or not. And it's driving me insane. He'll be flirty and dirty and within a day is all business again. Am I dealing with a Jekyll and Hide or is there something else ? I respect this guy, think he's fun and cute. He claims he thinks the same of me, but if he's wanting to keep it just friends he needs to make up his mind and stick with it.

All this has got me thinking am I aiming too high with my ideas of relationships or too low?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

My Metal Years

Picture it, it was 1988 my best friend and I had just seen Decline of the Western Civilization Part 2 The Metal Years (I was 14 and she was 12) and loved it! What came next for Erin and me would be the comedy style of The Comic Strip in the film More Bad News A Heavy Metal Nightmare.
Granted we were already long haired heavy metal heads totally in love with the look created two years before by the movies Trick or Treat and Black Roses (still love the opening concert scene with the Lizzy Borden song "Me Against The World")
I still own my first leather jacket and my old Motorhead and Exodus tee shirts.

So when I got my hands on copies of the two documentaries by Sam Dunn Global Metal and Metal: A Headbanger's Journey I got not just hyper on the music but started going through old diaries and photos. It's hard to believe that it's been 21 years since Decline Metal Years came out. Even harder to believe that we used to spend 45minutes doing our hair (not including make up) to have it looking like a truck was flying past us at 90 miles an hour indoors. (No I am not going to show you a photo on Erin's threat of killing me with a chainsaw) I don't think we missed an episode of Power Hour (later to be Power 30 then to be Loud) between 1988 and 1999. Dan Gallagher was our idol for getting to interview L.A. Guns. (remember the classic episode when Phil Lewis dropped his pants infront of the MuchMusic windows. )

I was out with mom the other week and she heard a song coming from someone's open window as their car zipped past. Turning to me she said "I am sorry I ever made fun of the music you listened to when you were younger. I couldn't understand a thing they were screaming and I wish I couldn't understand the stuff these rappers say. It's all nothing but f-this and f-that. Makes me long for some Sepultura"

Got to love that eh?

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Side Note

Seems like we got rid of that spammer.
So I have reopened the comments to everyone. Feel free to rant/rave/debate/ask questions. And since my weekly Thoughts on TNA Impact seem to be the most viewed items I am guessing there are people whom want to sh*t-chat with me on that.

Peer Pressure for Monkey-Poo

Once upon a time there was a girl. This girl liked to go to art galleries, and poetry readings. This girl even though was wanting a husband, she was not wanting a baby. Everyone around her thought she must be defective. She was not defective. She knew what her goals were and what was good for her soul.

Skipping a few chapters of her story to say chapter 35, we find the girl knee deep in questions and invitations for monkey-poo.

Enter stage left the mall -
Mommy #1: "Oh are you new in town?"

The Girl : "No. Lived here my whole life."

Mommy #1: "No you must be new in town because I know all the mommies and I haven't seen you yet at the mommy and me groups. They meet every Thursday at 9pm"

The Girl : "You have me mistaken for someone else."

Mommy #1: "No no I am never wrong. You are in your 30's right?"

The Girl : " Yes. 35 why?"

Mommy #1: " How many kids you have? By the looks of your hips and waist you must have what 4 by now?"

The Girl: " I have none. Just fat."

Mommy #1: " But your in your 30's! What do you mean you don't have kids? How can you not have kids? *gasp* You not able to?"

The Girl : "No I am able to. I think. Don't want any kids."

Mommy #1: "*laughing* That's so cute. Really thou I know a great doctor who can help you with your *clears throat* reproductive issues. Lots of us mommies had trouble the first time round but a few drugs and doctors and you'll be right as rain. You might even have twins"

The Girl: "I don't want twins. I don't want kids."

Mommy #1: "Sure you do. Every woman wants kids."

The Girl : " Nope. Not me. "

Mommy #1 : "No no you do. You just have to give up your dreams of being an artist and happy and give up the childish dream of your soulmate and what is true to your soul. And the second you do that you will be knee deep in monkey-poo. And then you can come to the mommy and me groups with your little one which meets every Thursday at 9pm."

The Girl : " Look Bitch! I told you I don't have any reproductive issues, I don't want to get a fertility doctor shoving drugs in me, and I sure as hell don't want twins! Besides even if I did ;I am busy Thursdays at 9pm"

Mommy #1: "Oh busy that night? What do you do that night that keeps you from coming to the mommy and me group?"

The Girl : "Watching Impact."
Exit stage left

If you have read my first few blogs from back few years ago, you know that I question this modern craze that a woman is only considered a real woman once she's popped out a litter of puppies. Not all of us have the ideal life of being a mom. Some of us just want a loving husband. Where my dislike for the "mommy role" comes from ?
Well on many levels and alot of people are finally starting to admit this publicly, children don't help strengthen the bonds between couples, they infact break them. I have seen first hand women who have a baby out of a desperation and fear that otherwise the man will leave them.
Um guess what - if he's got it in his mind to leave, overflowing hampers of monkey-poo won't make him change his mind. At lest not for more then a minute.
And it's not just the husband/wife relationship that suffers, its the friends too. Once you become a mommy all your single gals who don't have kids get shoved into the cracks in the wall along with your goals and dreams.

So why all the peer pressure for monkey-poo? You got me. It's like it's the new crack or something. A decade ago you were considered a total stain if you didn't have a husband (well you still are.) but it's worse if you are childless. Not landing a husband can mean to society at large either 1) your too busy enjoying life or 2) your too ugly. (but in this day and age with all the plastic ways to improve your looks who's really too ugly anymore?)
But not popping out a few puppies means to society at large that you are some how unfit and defective.

While I stumble blindly through the singles scene trying to land a husband at lest I know the only pressure I am feeling is my own.

Friday, May 1, 2009

My Thoughts on TNA Impact for April 30 2009...(MMG version)

Wow! Where to start. This was by far the best episode of Impact I have seen in months!

Let's start with the comedy teaming of Foley and Jarrett. It's not working for me, is it working for you? Didn't think so. I love the idea of them kinda wanting to tear each others' throats out, but the fact Foley is in stand up comedy mode and Jarrett is the straight end, not the best plan of attack. {If you are going to have these two as a comedy duo then hire classic British comedic team Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson to write your comedy routines.}

Meanwhile back in the soap opera....I mean the MainEventMafia locker room, I have to say Kurt Angle putting his Mafia Godfather status on the line at the next ppv, love it! Predictable but love it!

The idea of having Abyss being fought over, I never saw that coming. (thumbs up on that) It's brilliant truly brilliant.
Speaking of men you wouldn't normally consider hot; Cody Deaner is a character I am guessing there is some fan base for ? { I don't know about the rest of you but I tune into Impact to see men like Shelley and Sabin and Young, if I wanted to see men like Cody Deaner I would just go down the street to the gas station and hang out. } But putting him into a feud with Abyss is an excellent idea. This is one feud I hope gets a few weeks worth of airtime.

A.J. Styles getting deserted by Samoa Joe was predictable but needed. I think digging up their old feud would make the X-Division hop again.

Bobby Lasher showing up backstage...yeah still don't care still not a fan.

Sting coming out of nowhere with the chair shot had me going "wtf?" where are they going with this storyline?

The Tag Team Invitational sees new comers British Invasion win over LAX and advancing in what ended up being a handicap match with 3 of the British Invasion members vs Homicide.
And a pairing of Amazing Red/Suicide over throwing MotorCityMachine Guns! (not happy)

Speaking of MotorCityMachine Guns! love the fact they had the amount of airtime they did on this program. Did anyone else notice Chris Sabin came out for his match with his hand down his pants? The one short Huricanrada (okay you know my spelling sucks) which landed Sabin on his skull kinda had me wondering if the guy hadn't measured it proper. Jump now to them in the locker room with Foley. Love the new shirts, {naked would have been better} (grey is the new black and all men look hot in grey) and the fact I am not the only one sick of the Suicide gimmick. Having them decide to ask who's behind the mask maybe we can get rid of the gimmick and give one of them back the belt. Jump to them in the ring calling out Dainels. This is why Sabin should be limited to his microphone privileges . Nice save thou I have to say once Shelley pointed out that Daniels already had a mic. Chris Sabin shouldn't make comments that he's as smart as he looks cause know where I am going with this....that hair makes him look like a dirty bucket.
Best line of the night was Shelley saying "he already has a mic" and Sabin "I just wanted to hit him"
If Chris Sabin got that close to me I wouldn't be telling him to back up. And as they ran up the ramp, why was Alex Shelley pulling his shirt up? {so not complaining !!!! }
I must add to my original post of Dirty Bucket where I suggested TNA put Chris Sabin in a Hair vs Hair match with someone. (Can we make that someone Cody Deaner? That mullet needs to go.)

Ask Ardeth

Time to dig into the fang mail for another batch of emails from beyond the grave.
Welcome to an overdue issue of "Ask Ardeth" Where anything that can be thought of to ask will be answered by my horror film Heavy Metal Goddess alter ego Ardeth Blood.

Dear Ardeth:

You are so cool! OMG!
What will you be doing for Beltane this year?
Can I come?

Love your #1 Fan Jeff in Wawa

Dear Jeff in Wawa

Yes I know I am cool that is why I am the Queen of Your Evil Dreams. Well, given that I am a Dionysusian and Beltane is the day we celebrate Dionysus's wedding (he was the only Greek deity to be faithful to his wife) I will be preforming some very involved sex rituals via the style of Crowley. (just kidding. Kinda)
You can come all you want, just not here and not on the floor.

P.S. I don't think you are my #1 Fan as he lives in Detroit.

Dear Ardeth:

What ever happened to the actor who played Merton on the hit Canadian tv show Big Wolf on Campus?

from D. S. in Montreal

Dear D.S. in Montreal

What do I look like a tv guide? Google him.

Dear Ardeth:

I heard a rumour that you would be hosting a Halloween night bash at the Sleeping Giant? Any truth to this?

From Yolanda B. in Thunder Bay

Dear Yolanda B. in Thunder Bay:

No! No! and for the last time No!
Stop asking me to host that crap! I do not support your save the tavern group. Please, ask someone who cares about this crappy city.

That's all the time we have for this one, come back around and see what other gobs of wisdom Ardeth Blood will dish out and serve to her fiends.


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