Sunday, May 3, 2009

Peer Pressure for Monkey-Poo

Once upon a time there was a girl. This girl liked to go to art galleries, and poetry readings. This girl even though was wanting a husband, she was not wanting a baby. Everyone around her thought she must be defective. She was not defective. She knew what her goals were and what was good for her soul.

Skipping a few chapters of her story to say chapter 35, we find the girl knee deep in questions and invitations for monkey-poo.

Enter stage left the mall -
Mommy #1: "Oh are you new in town?"

The Girl : "No. Lived here my whole life."

Mommy #1: "No you must be new in town because I know all the mommies and I haven't seen you yet at the mommy and me groups. They meet every Thursday at 9pm"

The Girl : "You have me mistaken for someone else."

Mommy #1: "No no I am never wrong. You are in your 30's right?"

The Girl : " Yes. 35 why?"

Mommy #1: " How many kids you have? By the looks of your hips and waist you must have what 4 by now?"

The Girl: " I have none. Just fat."

Mommy #1: " But your in your 30's! What do you mean you don't have kids? How can you not have kids? *gasp* You not able to?"

The Girl : "No I am able to. I think. Don't want any kids."

Mommy #1: "*laughing* That's so cute. Really thou I know a great doctor who can help you with your *clears throat* reproductive issues. Lots of us mommies had trouble the first time round but a few drugs and doctors and you'll be right as rain. You might even have twins"

The Girl: "I don't want twins. I don't want kids."

Mommy #1: "Sure you do. Every woman wants kids."

The Girl : " Nope. Not me. "

Mommy #1 : "No no you do. You just have to give up your dreams of being an artist and happy and give up the childish dream of your soulmate and what is true to your soul. And the second you do that you will be knee deep in monkey-poo. And then you can come to the mommy and me groups with your little one which meets every Thursday at 9pm."

The Girl : " Look Bitch! I told you I don't have any reproductive issues, I don't want to get a fertility doctor shoving drugs in me, and I sure as hell don't want twins! Besides even if I did ;I am busy Thursdays at 9pm"

Mommy #1: "Oh busy that night? What do you do that night that keeps you from coming to the mommy and me group?"

The Girl : "Watching Impact."
Exit stage left

If you have read my first few blogs from back few years ago, you know that I question this modern craze that a woman is only considered a real woman once she's popped out a litter of puppies. Not all of us have the ideal life of being a mom. Some of us just want a loving husband. Where my dislike for the "mommy role" comes from ?
Well on many levels and alot of people are finally starting to admit this publicly, children don't help strengthen the bonds between couples, they infact break them. I have seen first hand women who have a baby out of a desperation and fear that otherwise the man will leave them.
Um guess what - if he's got it in his mind to leave, overflowing hampers of monkey-poo won't make him change his mind. At lest not for more then a minute.
And it's not just the husband/wife relationship that suffers, its the friends too. Once you become a mommy all your single gals who don't have kids get shoved into the cracks in the wall along with your goals and dreams.

So why all the peer pressure for monkey-poo? You got me. It's like it's the new crack or something. A decade ago you were considered a total stain if you didn't have a husband (well you still are.) but it's worse if you are childless. Not landing a husband can mean to society at large either 1) your too busy enjoying life or 2) your too ugly. (but in this day and age with all the plastic ways to improve your looks who's really too ugly anymore?)
But not popping out a few puppies means to society at large that you are some how unfit and defective.

While I stumble blindly through the singles scene trying to land a husband at lest I know the only pressure I am feeling is my own.

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