Friday, May 1, 2009

Ask Ardeth

Time to dig into the fang mail for another batch of emails from beyond the grave.
Welcome to an overdue issue of "Ask Ardeth" Where anything that can be thought of to ask will be answered by my horror film Heavy Metal Goddess alter ego Ardeth Blood.

Dear Ardeth:

You are so cool! OMG!
What will you be doing for Beltane this year?
Can I come?

Love your #1 Fan Jeff in Wawa

Dear Jeff in Wawa

Yes I know I am cool that is why I am the Queen of Your Evil Dreams. Well, given that I am a Dionysusian and Beltane is the day we celebrate Dionysus's wedding (he was the only Greek deity to be faithful to his wife) I will be preforming some very involved sex rituals via the style of Crowley. (just kidding. Kinda)
You can come all you want, just not here and not on the floor.

P.S. I don't think you are my #1 Fan as he lives in Detroit.

Dear Ardeth:

What ever happened to the actor who played Merton on the hit Canadian tv show Big Wolf on Campus?

from D. S. in Montreal

Dear D.S. in Montreal

What do I look like a tv guide? Google him.

Dear Ardeth:

I heard a rumour that you would be hosting a Halloween night bash at the Sleeping Giant? Any truth to this?

From Yolanda B. in Thunder Bay

Dear Yolanda B. in Thunder Bay:

No! No! and for the last time No!
Stop asking me to host that crap! I do not support your save the tavern group. Please, ask someone who cares about this crappy city.

That's all the time we have for this one, come back around and see what other gobs of wisdom Ardeth Blood will dish out and serve to her fiends.

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