Time to dig into the fang mail for another batch of emails from beyond the grave.
Welcome to an overdue issue of "Ask Ardeth" Where anything that can be thought of to ask will be answered by my horror film Heavy Metal Goddess alter ego Ardeth Blood.
I'm a struggling film producer and was wondering what it would take to get myself noticed by the industry big wigs?
Yours in Regina
Dear Yours in Regina:
If I knew do you think I would still be slopping it around this town?
My boyfriend left me for another girl. I love him and want him back, could you give me a love spell? I understand that you are a witch and know how to use magic. Please. Please. Please. I will pay you.
Desperate in Moose Jaw.
Dear Desperate in Moose Jaw:
You don't want to do that. Trust me on this one. Once a cheater always a cheater, and you deserve better then that.
First off, I am not a "witch" as much as I am a little more then normal.
Second, if he left you for someone else, do you really truly want to go through that again? The trust is lost and trust is the cornerstone of relationships. I have never understood why any woman would "fight" for a man who cheated on them? It makes no sense at all. He's not worth getting back, he's not worth your desperation. Or your tears, or your sleepless nights. If he was lousy enough to walk out on you then let her deal with his crap and be thankful you don't have to anymore.
Third, any witch/spellcaster/priestess etc who charges you for a spell that does not own an Occult store is ripping you off. Most ingredients can be found in your home, garden or grocery. The real magick is in your desire for the outcome.
Fourth, if you really want to do a spell for love/sex/relationships I suggest you buy either The Salem Witches' Book of Love Spells by Lilith McLelland or Wicca Love Spells by Gerina Dunwich.
That's all the time we have for this one, come back around and see what other gobs of wisdom Ardeth Blood will dish out and serve to her fiends.
You can email Ask Ardeth at email@example.com