Sunday, November 15, 2009

Can you messure up?

Everyone has their perfect ideal that they try to live up to.
For me that is my grandparents. They were Newfie you know.
Their house was always filled with people, music and laughter. Always so warm and inviting.

I've failed.
I'm not the housekeeper my Grandma was, nowhere near the cook she was, and I can't sew to save my life.
My Grandfather, he was a man who made wooden patio furniture and wooden toys, always had a great story to tell you, always smiling.
He's the one who got me hooked on wrestling when I was 5. He was always covered in paint and sawdust.

So what brought this up today you are wondering?
Reading actually. Was reading the book Shipping News and it's about a Newfie who moves back home to start over after his life falls apart. That and the fact I was just chatting with a buddy of mine who just started dating some chick he's known for a while. He had to point out to me that I am the only one left in our group who is single.
Thanks like I wasn't feeling crappy enough already.

wwegirl was telling me I need to "go with the flow" more. Okay sure right on that, pencil it in between loosing my mind and barking at the moon.
The problem is everytime I relax and start to just "be" something bad happens.
A broken body part, a cheating boyfriend, etc.

I am suppose to trust the universe will bring me what I am suppose to have. Okay seems simple enough. Relax, take a deep breath, and ask the universe to bring me the elements for happiness. To be able to start to live up to the ideal life I saw my Grandparents have.

And if the universe does not feel like handing me the husband, maybe just maybe it will toss me an interview with a wrestler. I mean seriously, who do I need to bribe to get that interview?
Then you know, I can die quietly.

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