Menopause. You're kidding right

Crying for no reason check
Angry for no reason check
Insomnia check
Headaches for no reason check
Memory loss for no reason check
Extremely painful periods check


So, it would seem that the universe took me serious when I said before that I was praying for early menopause. I asked for a Alex Shelley look alike too but the universe hasn't taken me serious on that now has it.
Dude, I'm 36; this isn't fair! Man, this sucks. Oh but don't worry cause it could be a full ten years of the pre-menopause part. Ten years! of this hell? It's no secret that I have zero interest in having kids, but really; the idea of the choice being taken away, not fair. Yes I'm whining now. This has already been going on for 3 years.
Yes, seems the car accident (the surgery I needed after the accident actually) put into motion the early stages of Menopause. Or so it would seem. It's one of those crazy things that you can't really put a shelf life on. But, I've got over half the symptoms of early menopause. Over half!

So, basically what is wrong with me isn't really WRONG with me as much as EARLY.
At least we know why I've been having the unexplained skull shattering headaches.

But the universe is a cruel bitch, cause what else is it doing to me, it's throwing me to the mommies.

1. All my friends are mommies
2. When I went to Edmonton in the fall of 2008 I spent the full two weeks in the middle of Butterfly's Mommy and Me group just surrounded by the mommies and their kids.
3. All the mommy bloggers that I seem to run into, it's like they are haunting me
4. Suddenly the mommy movie has become a genre all it's own. (Motherhood was on sale previewed at Blockbuster today too when I went there)
5. The Empress, 9 of Pentacles, 3 of Pentacles in tarot are popping up like madness in all my readings lately.

So, now I am wondering if the universe is setting me up for ... do I even want to think it?  I have to wonder if I would even make a good mommy?  All I know is that if The Fates have it instore for me then no matter what I want or feel or think; it will happen.  Well then, whomever my soulmate is, he's got about another 3 years if he wants kids, to show up in my life. Cause if I've already spent the last 3 in pre-menopause then I've only got about another 4 years roughly before I'm a Crone.

Then there is all the talk about what kind of mommy they seem to be. I'd be the Addams Family mom for sure.  Let my son (I refuse to believe I'd ever have a girl ) run around in a cape and fangs watching Mona the Vampire cartoons all day eating Count Chocola by the handful with a stuffed bat for a favourite toy. 

I have a thing for stuffed bats okay