Feeling the pressure

Let's face it some of us are just not meant to play the part of the Pop-Tart.
The last few days the pressure seems to be on for me to. Sure buying the outfits, getting all done up makes me feel sexy for the time it takes. But once the photos are done and I am in the stage of seeing them on my sites I feel just so unsexy and even ridiculous.
I had taken one of the old photos we did for the company website and added a poem over it in red having decided I wanted to spice up my profile on the goth site I hang out on. One person asked what the poem said, and that is my buddy. Yes I am not denying that I got more hits in that few hours it was up. But I felt weird about it given most of the people on that site are under 25. Why did I do it? Because I was the only one in clothes in my profile photo. I ended up taking it down and putting up one of me in the mudmask at the Lush party. I got no hits at all. That made me feel even less about myself. So back to the old photo gallery where I pulled up one from the same photoshoot as the first one was from, ran it through a paint program and have it up now (the one the last blog was about)
Today got me thinking I would get gussied up and have a few more done. I am sitting here now because half way through getting ready I just felt ugly and silly.