Monday, November 19, 2007

Monday Again?

Okay, that is kinda pissing me off. I have to go hunting down the list of blogs in the dashboard to find my own since getting the sl newspaper job.

Welcome to an overdue issue of "Ask Ardeth" Where anything that can be thought of to ask will be answered by my horror film Heavy Metal Goddess alter ego Ardeth Blood.

Item : Ardeth I just love your hair! How can I
get my oh so blah do grooving like yours?
From Drippy in Halifax

Well Drippy, thanks for the desire to be like me. The answer to that isnt as simple as one might think. First, you have to make sure you get the highlights just right, I suggest going to the Undertaker for that just hit and run look, then you have to use alot of product such as firm hold spray, and of course running around in empty graveyards getting dead things caught in it is always the best way to keep it fresh.

Item: Ardeth my husband left me for a younger woman. What do I do now, I have nothing?
From Heartbroken in Gander

Hey there Heartbroken. Depends on your age, if you have any little gremlins hanging off your shoes or not. I suggest if you are over 18 and have no kids, hit the nearest bar and find yourself a fisherman. If you do have kids, leave them with your mother and hit the nearest bar and find yourself a fisherman. If you husband was a fisherman, then try to find yourself a trapper. Bake a p-berry pie and go to the Salvation Army for Sunday potluck and see where your luck takes you.

Item: Ardeth, why is it that you never do zombie movies on your show?
From LivingDead in Saskatoon

LivingDead, I just don't like zombie films.

That's all the time we have for this one, come back around and see what other gobs of wisdom Ardeth Blood will dish out and serve to her fiends.

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