I'm jealous of a 16 year old...

How that happen? And um why?

Well I was out with mom today, and spotted this teenaged couple.  I sat there watching them interact and was very envious of the girl.  Not because her boyfriend was good looking, cause he wasn't, but because of the way he was looking at her.  I've seen this look before, from my male cousins when they've looked at their wives, from my male friends when they have looked at their girlfriends, when my married friend's husbands have looked at them, even once from VLHE's exhusband who came out as gay.  That look of pure animalistic desire.  That look that a man will get when he's thinking he doesn't care who's around or that he's in a public place. That look that is similar to what a hungry panther has when looking at it's prey.
A look I have witnessed  a million times in other people, but have never been able to create in a guy myself. 
So there I was, sitting around waiting for the bus watching these two teenagers cooing at each other like they were the only two people on the planet. Thinking, how did that girl create that desire in that boy?  And I found myself both jealous and depressed. 
Jealous of a 16 year old.  How much lower can I get?

My Favourite Matches

I used screen capture for this post


You have all heard me saying for the last few months how unimpressed I am with the whole direction TNA Impact has gone. I keep complaining but no one is bothering to listen. Or are they? I read other fan sites and I know I am not the only one who feels this way. So, this will be a new column; don't worry, I'll still do the weekly review of the new Impact episodes every week; but this new column will be about matches from old episodes that I thought rocked. So let's kick 'er off shall we.

X-Division Match from Sept 14th 2006
Alex Shelley vs Chris Sabin

We start with an armbar on Sabin who countered with his roll through flip, reversing it on Shelley before taking him down to the mat. Shelley managed to kick off putting distance between them both. We move into a side headlock on Shelley, who broke the hold going back to working on Sabin's shoulder before sweeping out the legs from under Sabin. Shelley then had control of the match by standing on Sabin's wrist. Back to a standing position, and Sabin switches it putting another side headlock on Shelley. Sabin then off the ropes with a hard looking shoulder block sending Shelley down. Sabin then uses his cartwheel/armdrag tossing Shelley across the ring. Shelley then bounces off the ropes with his spinning underarm hook, following it with a knee to the stomach. He then put Sabin face first into the top turnbuckle before the counter of a headscissors sending Shelley outside of the ring. Suicide dive by Sabin knocks both men out for a moment. Back into the ring and Shelley delivers a hard forearm to the side of the skull of Sabin, rocking him. They back and forth with the forearms for another few moments. Shelley breaks the rhythm with a rake to the eyes, snapmare and a kick. It only gave him a two count. Shelley then went for a double leg takedown before landing one of his beautiful moonsaults, which missed. Sabin then is flipped over the top rope to land on his feet on the apron, giving Shelley a fist to the jaw before setting up his springboard dropkick. Shelley stumbled back into the corner and Sabin came charging at him with a straight kick to the side of the skull. Both men are tangled in the ropes. Sabin gets his wits about him and hangs Shelley in the tree of woe for his hesitation drop kick. Beauty. He got a two count but Shelley grabbed the bottom rope for the break. Nice. Shelley then comes back with his mule kick and a running drop kick. Lethal/Dutt/Devine case a small distraction letting Sabin use a rollup small package for the win.

 What I liked about this match, it was no-nonsense. Even with the little distraction at the end it still focused on the men in the ring. This was at a point when Chris Sabin had held the X-Division belt only twice and Alex Shelley had been tagged up with Johnny Devine as the Paparazzi. I actually liked the paparazzi angle Shelley was doing at that time, it was different and somehow natural. It seemed to me though that they were just tossing him with anyone trying to create a tag team that never really gelled. (Nash, Devine, Aries) Sabin and Shelley as the MotorCityMachine Guns! Beauty. Like a gift from Dionysus.  Shelley and Sabin against each other in a match, genius pure and simple. 

My Thoughts on TNA Impact for April 5th 2010

I used screen capture for this post. 

iTunes Canada was 3 days late again.  Dude, are you going to do this on the weeks of every live show? We have readers on this blog. Not as many as I would like, but readers none the less. Maybe I need to bring back the Sabin hair gimmick and get the return of the Sabin fans to the blog?

So we have a pointless flashback from last week then we go to an interview with the Knock Outs. Okay, you all know my rule about talking about the Knock Outs, but honestly, where are they all?  Velvet Sky was saying how they -the TNA Knock Outs- have revolutionized the business, but in the last 4 months I have not seen anything new or revolutionary from the TNA women's division. It looks like the same stale old dren that the other company offers.  I was impressed back 3 years ago when the Knock Outs made their debut, now my fast forward button can't go fast enough.
Fix the frealing opening already it's still crap. No, I'm not difficult to please, just bored. Dude I have been a fan for 31 of my 36 years on this planet, and I really do not want to see the same stuff over and over and over again. On the rare time I do, I buy the dvd.  All you're giving me is old production notes from WCW with a fresh slice of moldy cheese on the plate.

Our first match which was by the by is after the 20minute mark;  has already started and is between Storm and RVD.  Storm sends RVD into the corner, RVD floats over then puts a boot to the face of Storm. RVD uses his roll through/monkey flip to toss Storm across the ring. Storm sent RVD into the other corner but RVD countered, sending Storm off the ring apron with a kick. He then went for a baseball slid, but Storm caught him and slammed him into the rails. RVD used a shoulder block from outside the ropes but Storm countered with a mid rope DDT. He went for a pin but only got a two count. Storm followed this with a vertical suplex, and a rear chin lock in the middle of the mat. RVD fought out of it, and was going off the ropes, Storm tried for a knee to the jaw but RVD grabbed his leg going for a roll up.  Only a two count. RVD then used his trademark spinkick before both men started trading fists. Another high spin kick from RVD which gave him a chance to set up for his rolling thunder. Storm managed to come back with a spinning heel kick to the skull and a the eye of the storm. RVD came back with a front slam and his split legged moonsault for the win.  Boo.

Homicide vs Rob Terry for the Global title. He's calling himself the Freak? Dude, really? Homicide did not wait, he jumped him as the bell was being rung. Kick to the stomach followed by a chop, did nothing. Much as the next set of chops. Homicide went off the ropes but ended up with a clothesline for his troubles. Terry followed this up with a choke slam that sent Homicide flying across the ring. Homicide then tried for a monkey flip but failed, before Terry got him in a long held press slam. Homicide then got tossed the other end of the ring via a deep hip toss. Homicide tried for a corner move but was caught in a front slam.  Terry got the win. What the freal was that?  I'm talking the end of the Global match, which had Terry standing there bleeding from a evil harsh chair shot that by the by never took him down, didn't even phase him,  but the fact Orlando Jordan came out with I don't even want to know what splattered on him... What the freal is the deal with Jordan? No second thought, I don't want to know at all.  Just toast him already.

Knock Outs match... don't care. Tara won the first round getting a key to a locked box she got her spider back . Daffnay won the second round getting a key to a locked box she lost and had to do a strip tease. Velvet Sky won round three got a key to a locked box, she got the open contract to any match. Angelina Love won the final round getting a key to the locked box she won the belt.

Ladder match between Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson. Anderson jumped Angle, and had him down in the corner where he was stepping on his throat before using a punch/kick combo. The bell was then rung and we see Anderson with Kurt Angle on his shoulders for a drop roll. The ladder was then brought into the ring, as Angle started to show some fight. Anderson then suplexed him onto the ladder. Kurt recovered enough to give Anderson a belly to back suplex on the ladder himself. Kurt then followed it up with a few closed fists before starting to send Anderson into the ladder, but Anderson ducked and reversed it sending Kurt face first into the ladder. Anderson then started up the ladder, but was not high enough as Kurt grabbed him for an Angleslam.   Anderson is now outside of the ring on the floor. Kurt was at the top of the ladder, Anderson came back in toppling it and Kurt went over the top rope hit the apron and fell hard onto the floor.  Dude that was like a 14 foot drop! The crowd started to chant  "holy s**t" which the censor crew could not censor proper. Anderson back up the ladder, somehow Kurt got up and onto the top turnbuckle drop kicking the ladder out from under Anderson. Both men down and with good reason. Kurt back up to his feet with a over head suplex on Anderson. How is he even breathing let alone standing? Kurt placed Anderson on the ladder and went back to the ropes for a top rope moonsault. He picked up Anderson and tossed him shoulder first into the ring post, and started up the ladder again.  Anderson the used the chain of Kurt's metal to choke him out. Anderson then climbed up for the key that was hanging there.

Okay I adore Jay Lethal.  As Jay Lethal not as Macho Man. Please, please please drop the gimmick.  I have been begging you to, nagging you to drop the gimmick for the last year and a half.   Just drop the gimmick and be the old Jay Lethal.

Anyone else feel like just watching old episodes of the Trailer Park Boys?  or Durham County?
 Pope's promo was good.  Dude, I will find a way to get your trenchcoat righty-ho righty-ho.

Doug Williams  vs Generation Me in a gauntlet match.  My money's on Williams as I really don't care much at all for Generation Me. Jeremy started dude two words for you 1) hair  2) cut Williams used an armbar but Jeremy countered causing Williams to go for the ropes to break the hold. Williams then took out the legs of Jeremy sending him into the corner, but Jeremy countered with a moonsault/cross body combo. Williams came back at him with a simple open hand slap getting him against the ropes but Jeremy got a boot up landing it square in Williams face. This he followed up with a outside shoulderblock and a springboard powerbomb planting Williams face first. Williams shook it off and used his chaos theory suplex for the win of this first round. 
Second round was Max who used a suicide dive to get into the ring landing on Williams. Max then ducked a clothesline before using a drop kick but only got a two count. Williams was then sent across the ring hitting the one corner then the other as Max went for a scoop slam and a flying leg drop. Williams then out of nowhere used a front choke small package forcing Max to tap.  Yay. I like Williams.

Wolfe vs Pope.  Wolfe did not wait and ran down the ramp at Pope, but was greeted with a hard fist. Wolfe was thrown into the ring, but still managed to get an upper cut on Pope as he was climbing into the ring, getting the advantage. Pope fought back but was cut short by a knee to the chest followed by Wolfe's flying hammerlock. Pope was placed on the top turnbuckle where upon Wolfe used his double chop setting up for the tower of london but it was countered. They got out of the corner, with Pope using a open palmed thrust. Pope followed that up with his DDE for the win.  Then Styles came out of nowhere looking normal for the first time in months knocking into Pope and the camera man who got crushed under everyone.

And the MotorCityMachine Guns! vs Team 3D for the number one contenders spot. Chris Sabin and Brother Ray started off with a collar tie up which Brother Ray turned into a armbar.  Sabin countered it reversing it on him. Mr. Sabin Have I nagged yet about the boots? No well consider this me asking what the hell is up with those laces you wear? I know you've been doing the footwear like that for awhile now but ... Brother Ray managed to roll out of it, landing a hard right on Sabin's jaw. Sabin countered with a series of forearmss and kicks, looking like he had things under control, but he didn't. Brother Ray placed one perfectly timed boot to the face sending Sabin hard to the mat. He was going for a second round, but Sabin rolled and got him with a mule kick.  Beauty. He backed it up with a springboard cross body but it only got him a near fall. Alex Shelley tagged in and they used a double team move on Brother Ray. Brother Ray came back at Shelley with a vicious chop sending him staggering back and then tagged in Devon. Devon had Shelley down on the mat, using a headbutt to the lower back for added pressure. Shelley was heading for a tag but was cut short when Devon grabbed him slapping on a bear hug. He broke the hold and landed a kick to the jaw of Devon, rocking him. Sabin tagged back in crossing to the far corner with a forearm to Brother Ray before turning his attention back to Devon with a running forearm. Brother Ray came back into the ring, Sabin caught him with a mule kick then went to the top rope for a double drop kick on them both. Brother Ray got to his feet and went charging but Sabin ducked and Brother Ray continued on landing the clothesline on Devon in the corner. Sabin then used a flying kick to the back of the skull on Brother Ray, before turning his attention back on Devon. Double team from him and Shelley on Devon with their stereo kicks. Shelley tagged back in and went off the top rope for a cross body while Sabin held Devon in a neckbreaker. Got only a two count. Brother Ray then from behind with a double clothesline taking both MMG to the mat. He then picked up Sabin in a scoop slam as Devon went to the top rope landing a What's Up on Sabin.  Boo. Then Nash and his boys came down to the ring ruining the match. Double Boo. And you can see that Shelley got marked up but it didn't work proper because he had been sweating.

So to sum up my thoughts this week,  if you are downloading from iTunes and missing the old TNA like I am,  just skip this week and down load the episode from June 18th 2006.  Which was a great episode...

How far are you willing to go?

Working on draft 3 of my novel, and am wondering... would a male masturbation scene be taking it too far?   Would that cross a line that just would destroy the core of the plot?
Hard to say.  Some people have already told me my novel is difficult to swallow.   Yeah, I threw good taste out the window the second I started working on the last draft. 

And what brought this thought on this raining morning over coffee?  

Well to be honest, I'm still waiting for this weeks TNA Impact to be available so I can do the weekly review, and decided to work on one of the main characters while I wait.  He needs to be given more personality.  That and I had a crazy conversation last night with a buddy about an old match from the Best of the X-Division vol 2.  (June 18th 2006 you can find it on iTunes even, 6 man contenders match)
 
My editor and my friend's mom who read the last draft both feel he's the strongest character in my novel. My Antagonist. My Heel.  So now I am just trying to get a better handle on this character, so to speak.

Devil's in my head

Quoting L.A. Guns from the song "Long Time Dead" from the Vicious Circle album.
Why... cause that's what I am listening to right now... on cassette!  Yeah it's that old. And discontinued from what I am told so I have not been able to find it on cd.

Anyway, the 10 of Swords,  or as my friend Erin likes to say  "The 10 of S words."  old SNL skit from like a million years ago when SNL was still worth something.  I did a reading this morning, and that damnable card popped up again, and again again and again... you get the idea it's haunting me.
Usually this card is shown as someone laying face down in the gutter with 10 sharp swords/daggers/knives in their back and skull with a large puddle of blood under them.   Nice Eh? 

Well, actually it is.
It's a very deceiving card, the term don't judge a book by it's cover was made for this card.  Yes, it is a card of pain.  Pain in the past. This card is a card of balance, forgiveness, self esteem and rebirth. Things are never as bad as they seem. It's a card that is telling you to -roll with it- the situation is over, time to grieve if necessary but relief is now at hand.  The end of a cycle and preparing you for the next.

I haven't figured out just what it's screaming at me about today, but I'm sure I will at some point.

Who knew paperwork would have such heavy lifting

I just ripped apart chapter 1 of the novel.   Moved page 9 to page 1, deleted page 2, reduced a character to two sentences in a flashback scene, turned everything between page 3-8 into the flashback scene.

Dude, that's alot of heavy lifting, beat out now from all that jazz.  Surprisingly very hungry now too.  Nice workout for the mind.  And considering you know that the zombies ate my brain there last month it's a big workout. 

Psst why did the zombies eat your brain again?

Well Spudgun, remember I said I would schedule sending that email to Mr. Shelley after I let the zombies eat my brain...  

Muse me

Someone left a comment the other day on one of my other posts, asking me what I am looking for in a man.  My reply was actually really snotty.  Totally asshole of me. 
The last 24hours because of a crazy situation of information coming to my attention, information I have to admit I didn't like finding out,  I have been thinking.  
I've talked about the fact that I need to have a guy in my life or at least a crush in order to be creative.  I need a Muse.
I've never admitted it before, but what I want out of a guy is to be his Muse.  I've never admitted it before because I never believed I deserved to be seen that way.  But it's what I want. 
So to answer the person honestly and without venom, I want to inspire a man. 

I 'm guessing that is  big key to finding the One, my soulmate,  (yes remember we've gone over this a million times, I believe in soulmates)   he'll have a new creativity when he meets me.  I'll be his Muse.

Egotistical - no.  Honest for the first time in years - honest to myself anyway.